Cognizant (Adopted By Alex Gaskarth: Book 2)✅

Chapter 7

I woke up to frantic movements. I sat up, taking in my surroundings from where I lied on the couch. Alex lied curled up in the corner of the couch, making small kicks and crying in his sleep.I realized what was happening, and began shaking him awake. 

"Dad, Dad," I said as calmly as I could to wake him. "Wake up, it's just a dream." 

I finally managed to bring him to consciousness, sweat dripping from his forehead and plastering his hair to his face. His eyes were a little red from the crying. He shook and trembled like a Chihuahua as he gazed at me with wide eyes. 

"You okay?" 

"Y-Yeah," he managed to stutter out between shallow breaths. 

I reached out and hugged him tightly, not sure how to help him through his post-nightmare anxiety. Alex hugged me back shakily, holding onto me as if his life depended on it. 

"I'm... I'm sorry," he whispered through silent sobs. 

"It's okay," I mumbled into his shirt. Alex immediately began to calm down at a slow rate, his breathing becoming normal and his hands slowly stopping their shaking. He kept his grip around my shoulders, pulling me to him tightly. 

"Do you get nightmares a lot now?" I asked softly

Alex slowly pulled away, wiping away the falling tears. He shrugged with his face in his hands, sighing shakily. I shifted forward to lean against him, hoping to transfer some type of comfort. He moved his arms back around me with his face hiding in my hair. 

"About what?" 

Alex inhaled shakily again before replying, "You, Tom... What happened, what might happen if someone else got hurt... Me hurting you." 

I hugged Alex tighter, not sure how to help him. "I'm sorry," I whispered. 

"It's not your fault," he whispered back. 

.

"You ready?" 

Alex put the car into park, sitting in the driver's seat for a moment as he stared at me, the reflection of the therapist's office glaring at me from the window. I nodded in response, removing my seatbelt. 

"Okay," he whispered. I followed him out of the car and up to the brick building. We signed in and sat next to each other on the bench in the waiting room. 

"You know that all therapists aren't going to be like the one you went to before, right?" 

I nodded. "Yeah." 

Alex nodded and whispered, "Okay." 

A man in a button-down shirt and black pants came out of a closed off hallway. "Gaskarth?" 

I inhaled deeply and stood with Alex. We followed the man down the hallway together until he led us to a room. 

.

Let's just say the therapy appointment didn't go well. For either me or Alex. The man continued to ask us about what happened and why we felt what we felt, which we expected. But he also constantly brought up things that could be considered triggering to both me and Alex. We left the office, both shaking and fearful from trying not to have panic attacks. As we got into the car, Alex reached out and hugged me tightly. Our shaking continued and Alex held me close to him as he began driving with one trembling hand. 

"You want me to drive?" 

Alex shook his head. "No," he whispered, "I'll be fine. Plus you dont have your permit yet, so you could get in trouble." 

As we finally got home, Alex forced the keys in the lock after trying for a few stressful minutes. We sat on the couch together, still shaking and breathing off. We leaned against each other, relaxing in the warmth and comfort of each other. My eyes slowly fluttered shut as I hugged Alex, his shaking arms instantly coming to slowly wrap around my much smaller body. 

"I'm sorry," I mumbled against his shirt. 

"For what?" Alex gazed down at me. 

I shrugged tiredly and leaned back up against him. "Everything," I replied quietly. 

Alex's hand moved up and down my back comfortingly as he whispered, "You don't have anything to apologize for." 

I slowly began to calm down, my entire body still shaking as hot tears slowly fell down my face. I could feel Alex's arms still shaking, also, as he continued to embrace me tightly. I leaned against him more, and I felt him do the same to me.

"I don't know what to do anymore," I admitted quietly. 

Alex didn't respond at first, as if he didn't know what to say. "Me either," he whispered.

Several minutes passed until we both calmed down, loosely hugging each other still on the couch as we slowly began falling into a  deep sleep. 

.

Bang! Bang! Bang! 

I tightened at the noise upstairs, my bound hands and feet not able to move more than a couple inches. A thumping noise followed as the dirty blond stepped downstairs. He lifted a foul-smelling piece of bread with chunks of what looked like- and I knew tasted like- dog food. I scrunched up my face and tried to lean away. 

Slap! 

My cheek burned bright red as I screwed my eyes shut and I slumped my head down defensively. the man brought his hand up tenderly in mock gentleness, bringing my chin up to look him in the face. 

"So beautiful," he murmured with a hungry look on his face. "So sexy." 

I pulled on the bondages again and yelled out, whimpering as he touched me over and over again. I felt immense pain in my lower region again, and I cried out.

"Now, don't make me get the gag again, baby," he groaned. 

I whimpered and cried as my entire body felt like it was on fire, pulled on by the chains and assaulted by the man. Hot tears slipped down my pale face as my body was overwhelmed and pained. 

I coughed and whimpered as I was forced awake, curling tightly into a ball against a soft and warm-feeling figure. I shook and began crying almost instantly. A large hand touched my back, and I flinched away, pulling myself in and hugging myself tighter. 

"Hey," Alex's soft voice echoed in my ears. "Don't worry, it's okay." His arms wrapped around my body, hugging my small frame. I leaned into him, but kept my shaking arms around myself with my eyes screwed shut as tears fell from them. 

I sobbed and cried, whimpering out, "I'm sorry.... I-I'm s-sorry."

Alex gently hushed me, holding me to his warm and safe body in an embrace. "It's okay, it's okay. Just breathe." 

I hiccuped and sobbed out once more as I embraced Alex back. "I'm okay... I-I'm okay," I whispered. 

Alex pulled away and looked down at me. "You sure?" He raised an eyebrow. 

I nodded as I hugged him back. "I'm okay." 

I'm not okay.