Cognizant (Adopted By Alex Gaskarth: Book 2)✅

Chapter 21

I climbed into the car behind Zack, who sat in the driver's seat. He started the vehicle, shifted it into drive, and began a U-turn on the small back road he had pulled over on.

When we arrived at Pizza Hut, Rian was waiting for us inside. "Hey," he greeted as he hugged each of us. "I ordered two pizzas already, one Hawaiian and one is some barbecue one with chicken... Because I though you guys might be a bit peckish."

"Hey! Shitty puns are my thing," I protested.

"Hey, that took me a very long time to come up with, so give me some credit for that one," he laughed, blinding half of the small restaurant with his bright white teeth.

.

"Alex, hey." Rian snapped his fingers again. Alex blinked quickly as he came back into reality. "You okay, dude?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry, didn't sleep much last night. Zoning out." he gave a small chuckle as he rubbed at his face.

"Yeah, I see that."

Alex Gaskarth's POV:

"Yeah, I see that," Rian laughed. I shook my head with a small grin and accepted more pizza from Zack. I slowly began to pay more attention to the conversation that the other three continued, absentmindedly chewing on a pineapple piece as I began zoning out again.

Why am I such a shitty parent? I should be able to prevent her from doing dangerous stuff and getting things that could hurt her, but I never seem to pick up on it!

She deserves a better dad. Not someone like me. Someone who knows how to help her and keep her from hurting herself.

This is all my fault! If I had been taking better care of my own daughter, she wouldn't have been out doing shit like walking underneath the deck of a fucking bridge. She wouldn't have been able to get those drugs. Or hurt herself more. She's still depressed, and it's my fault because I haven't done anything about it.

We eventually said goodbye to Rian and got back in the car to travel home with Zack. The radio sang softly as Adelpha and Zack talked, my lips never moving once.

Why am I like this?

Once we got home, it was already beginning to become dark outside. Adelpha and I said goodbye to the bassist as he pulled into our driveway, and Adelpha got out of the car, but Zack held my sleeve gently to keep me in the car.

"You sure you're doing okay, Alex? You don't usually do that when you're tired, you were being quiet, and you looked upset."

"Oh, sorry. Yeah, dude, I'm okay. I was probably concentrating on something else."

"Okay," Zack replied. "Text me if you need anything."

I nodded as I closed the car door, waving to him from where I stood in the driveway as he backed out before I went inside with Adelpha.

"Hey," Lisa greeted me at the door as I came inside. "Have fun?" she pressed her lips against mine softly.

"Mhm," I hummed against her soft lips. "I'll be right back, Imma go use the bathroom," I said as kissed her once more before heading off to the bathroom. Instead of using the bathroom that was only down the hall, I went all the way upstairs to the bathroom connected to mine and Lisa's room. I first dug through my nightstand, pushing through condoms, batteries, guitar picks, and small papers. I finally found what I was looking for at the very bottom of the small drawer. It fit perfectly between my thumb and middle finger, a shiny piece of sharp metal I had removed from a pencil sharpener a while back.