Cognizant (Adopted By Alex Gaskarth: Book 2)✅

Chapter 9

Alex picked up my small body and placed me on the counter. He slid the key and the blade into his pocket, promising to be back in a minute as he quickly walked out. When he came back, he held basic first aid supplies in his hands and set them next to me. Alex began cleaning the wounds until the bleeding slowed, wrapping them in white gauze afterwards. The tough white material was just tight enough I knew they were there, and thick enough that I couldn't scratch at my wrists. My shoulders slumped as I sighed. This seemed all-too familiar. 

"Please. Please don't do this," he begged me, looking me in the eye as he took the bottle from my other hand to place it farther away.

I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eye. He's going to be so pissed off. God, what have I done? I should have done it ten minutes earlier.

A small whimper escaped me. "I'm sorry... I'm so, so sorry."

Tears began to fall from my eyes. I'm weak.

Alex sobbed as he pulled me into his body. "Please don't do this. Please, please don't hurt yourself."

I curled tighter into my knees, shaking. Alex looked at my arms and the blood that began to seep into my clothes.

"We need to get these bandaged up." He sloppily wiped the tears from his face. "Please just wait here, okay?" He sat me on top of the counter before running off to find medical supplies.

Alex leaned forward hugging me again. I hugged him back tightly, my tears beginning to wet his red t-shirt. 

"I'm sorry," I whimpered against his shirt. Alex didn't respond as he slowly swiped his thumb across my shoulder blade. 

"I know it's fucking hard, kid, I really do, but I can't let you leave. I can't let you hurt yourself." 

"I-I just... I don't want to do this anymore. I don't-don't see the point in me trying," I whimpered between sobs and hiccups. 

Alex hugged me tighter in response. "There is a point in you trying and fighting. I promise," he whispered. 

I leaned forward against him, letting my eyes flutter shut slowly as I continued hugging him, slowly beginning to fall asleep. A short few moments passed until I felt my heavy body being picked up and cradled, and I started to fall into a deeper sleep against the familiar and comforting smell of a familiar cologne. I briefly felt something brush my forehead and heard a whispered "I love you," before going completely asleep. 

.

"You sure?" 

I nodded. "Yes! I haven't been doing much else, going to school might help. Especially because if I'm not behind now, I might be if I don't go to school and do my work here."

Alex gave a small and seemingly amused sigh. "Okay. The first day of school is next week, you can go if you feel up to it."

I grinned and hugged Alex around his shoulders. "Thank you! I love you," I said with a small laugh. 

Alex chuckled and hugged me back. "I love you, too. But you have to promise me you won't go back to hurting yourself and you won't have anything with you that you could hurt yourself with. Yeah?" 

I nodded as I pulled away, a small smile playing on my lips. "Yeah. Thanks." He chuckled again with a grin. 

.

I bent over, placing my hands on my legging-covered knees. My three-quarter sleeve gym shirt rode up my back as I tried to even out my breathing. I could hear the other people in my gym class racing on the track. My arms were sore and I could feel the scars and bruises on my back burning from the salty sweat and the rigorous movements. I coughed harshly before the gym teachers released the students to go change and wait for the bell to ring. 

As I usually did last year, I dressed in the bathroom stall of the locker room, twisting and looking at the purple-red and white scars on my back. They rippled and stung with each movement, and I sighed as I slipped my black cami over my torso, the friction burning it. I pulled on my grey hoodie-well, Jack's grey hoodie, and fixed my skinny jeans before leaving for class. The bell rang just as I left the locker room, and I carried my bag hung on my hand near the ground to avoid putting the weight on my shoulders and back. 

My last two classes finished, including Driver's Ed, and I checked my phone for a text from Alex. Sure enough, he had sent me a text stating where in the parking lot he was waiting for me. I found his car and walked over, my bag still hanging from my right hand. Alex looked up from his phone to see me and unlocked the door to allow me in. I hopped into the passenger seat, sitting up straight and away from the back of the seat.

"Hey, kid, how was school?"

"Fine," I smiled at the singer as I fixed my seatbelt.

Alex hesitated before saying "Okay," and began to drive off.

I fidgeted in my seat a little as the friction on my back stung still, trying to fix my shirt and hoodie in some way. 

"You okay, Ad?"

I nodded and mumbled "Yeah. Just hurts." 

"What happened?" Concern laced his voice as he glanced over at me every few seconds before looking back at the road. 

"Nothing... Just the... The scars hurt when I went to gym class, they still burn."

"Really? Maybe we should get you to see someone about that, it might continue to hurt." 

"I don't know," I mumbled quietly as I finally decided to remove the large grey hoodie. I slipped it off my arms and was left in my tanktop, releaving some of the pressure and friction on the sensitive skin. I leaned back uncomfortably against the seat, moving around until the burning and stinging became at least a little less painful. 

"God, that does look like it hurts," Alex commented softly. I saw him glancing at the ugly scars with a pained expression. I shrugged it off, subconsciously placing my hand over the mark on my shoulder to hide it. Alex took a deep breath and continued driving, but took a right where he usually went left. 

"I'm gonna head over to the pharmacy and pick up some painkillers. I'll call to make an appointment about it when we get home." 

"Okay," I whispered. "Thank you."