Cognizant (Adopted By Alex Gaskarth: Book 2)✅

Chapter 18

Alex Gaskarth's POV:

"Hey, babe," I greeted softly as Lisa came home from work. She gently pressed her lips to mine, dropping her bag near the door.

"Hey, how was the studio today?"

"Good, but there's something I need to tell you about."

"What's wrong?" An expression of concern masked her face as we traveled to the kitchen. I checked on Adelpha as we passed by, who had fallen asleep on the couch. Lisa leaned against the island counter in the middle of the kitchen. I placed the small bottle Adelpha had given me on the counter in front of her.

"Ad came and talked to me about an hour ago about these. She got them last week while we were in Chicago without me knowing. She said it's PMMA." Lisa watched me carefully with a hint of sadness hidden in her eyes. "I looked it up and I can see it's given the nickname Doctor Death for a reason... She knew what is was and what it would do if she took just enough, and planned to take it eventually..." I sighed heavily, trying to get a hold on myself long enough to keep talking. "She came and gave it to me, telling me what she planned, but she was hesitant on taking it, too. I think I talked her out of wanting to try anything like this again, but..." I shrugged sadly, pressing my hands on the countertop.

"Did she take any?"

I shook my head. "She promised me she didn't, and I believe her, otherwise we might have another problem because just a little can kill a person. Apparently the guy who she bought it from gave it to her for a relatively cheap price because it's not hard to figure out what someone's going to do with a drug like this."

"Oh my God," Lisa whispered. 

"Yeah. She fell asleep on the couch a little while ago and I checked through her stuff, but there wasn't anything else that I could see."

"Well," Lisa said with a small sigh, "At least she came to talk to you about it before she took any, that's good."

I nodded. "That's what I told her, too."

.

When I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, I decided to silently head down the hall to check on Adelpha. About halfway down the chilly hall, I could hear quiet talking. I peered around her door, seeing the short teenager pacing slowly around in the dark. 

"Why the hell did you have to bother him? Why would he even care? It's all your fucking fault," she mumbled. She kept talking and mumbling, most of it too quiet for me to hear. 

"Ad," I called to her softly. She stopped pacing and talking as she looked up at me. I leaned against the doorway in her room. "Ad, who are you talking to?" 

She pressed her face down into her palms, shaking her head and dragging her small fingers down her face. "I'm sorry," she replied softly. "Sometimes talking to myself helps." 

"D'you want to talk to me about it?" Adelpha rubbed at her face again and shook her head. 

"No... Just... Venting. Helps me decide what to do." 

"How long've you been doing this?" 

She shrugged tiredly. "Few years. Haven't really done it as much since you adopted me, but..." She trailed off. 

I remembered hearing mumbling sometimes when we were on tour, in Adelpha's bunk. I always thought she was a sleep-talker.

"It just... Makes things easier, I guess," she said. "I realized people never really listened to me so talking to myself seemed like it helped, somebody was actually listening to me, in some perspective." She shrugged tiredly again. 

I smiled at her. "Just worried me that you're walking around and talking to yourself at one in the morning." 

She shrugged again. "I'm usually awake, anyway." 

"You want to talk to me about it? I'll listen, I might be able to help." 

Adelpha shrugged again, and I could see how tired she was. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes with a sigh, letting me softly hug her with sympathy. She leaned against me, her arms draped down towards the ground. I wondered how many nightmares she'd been getting, and helped her to stand up. "C'mon, kid." 

She mumbled something that could have either been "What," or "Foot," and followed me with half-lidded eyes. I made sure she didn't fall down the stairs, then let her flop onto the couch next to me. I held her close to me and set the television on low so I could keep an eye on her if she fell asleep and had another nightmare. 

"You okay, kid?" 

She hummed softly, curling into herself with her sleeve-covered hands in front of her face. I saw movement out of the corner of my eye, and looked up to see Lisa coming down the stairs silently. 

"Everything okay?" She whispered in my ear, placing a kiss on my jaw. 

"Yeah," I whispered back and kissed her softly on the lips. "Just watching over her to make sure she's okay." 

"Okay." Lisa silently began padding back to the stairs, running her hand gently through my hair as she passed. I watched her hair bounce behind her as she quietly stepped up the stairs. I looked back down at Adelpha, keeping my right arm tightly around her. She was still curled into a little ball under the blanket I put over her, leaning against my side with her hands over her face. 

"Dad," she whispered without moving. "I'm sorry I didn't talk to you." 

I tightened my hug and rubbed my thumb up and down her shoulder in acknowledgement, closing my eyes against her hair. "Love you, Ad." I only received the small teenager's soft snores as she fell asleep against me, and I let myself relax against her, knowing she would be safe.