Queen Bitch's Adventures

The grandparents (gasp)

@//sapphster my mummy this be for you.

Lauren's pov as always

It was a usual Sunday. I was out with salad at the friendly neighborhood target. Why did I bring her? Who knows. But she's here. I was attempting to buy a new table cloth when my phone rang playing my favorite song obviously "Fall to pieces" by Avril Lavigne cuz Sean and I just love her. I scrambled through my purse to pick it up.
"Hello?" I say putting it up to my ear.
"Sweetie you haven't called in years I was starting to think you died!" I hear a fragile voice on the other line.
"Mummy???" I ask in shock.
"Yes dearie it's me. Your father and I have missed you so much!" She says on the other side of the line. I was terrified. Not my parents. Last time I saw them I was 19 and they fucked right in front of me. It was nasty. Who would show their kid that??
Scarred for life.
Then they had another fucking kid to make things worse.
It's okay he died though somehow so it's always been just me.
But seriously though. Nasty. After that I started living at college.
I gulped. "Well how are you Mom?" I ask as Salad runs away from me and grabs a mango. "Oh shit get back here!" I yell pressing the phone to my shoulder while grabbing the cart and running after her. "Put that down salad!" I yell slapping the mango out of her hand as my mom answers.
"I've been fine dawniehoe, your father had been well too." She says and I cringe at the nickname as I say to salad, "you know how your father and I feel about mangos in the house." I say. And drab salad away by the wrist and answer my mum again.
"That's good mom." I say. As she begins to speak again.
"Goldie and I were thinking about visiting you and Sean soon. Did you ever have any children?" She asks.
"Um sure.. that's great and yeah we have a murderer named Salad. She's great sometimes. Hopefully she'll love you guys." I say with a sigh looking at my child with doubts.
"Well bye sweetie see you tomorrow!" She says and hangs up.
"Tomorrow??!!!!" I scream into the phone realizing she had already hung up.
"Fuck." I say putting my phone away.
"Lemme guess," salad starts. "I got you fired again?" She asks.
"No worse." I say with a sigh. "Your grandparents are visiting."
"Grandma!?" She asks excitedly because salad loves everything related to Sean and hates my guys because Sean is a smol child and everyone loves him he's gr8.
"No my parents." I say with frustration.
"Oh great." Salad grumbles.

THE NEXT DAY!

It was a typical Monday morning. Sean pebble and I all sat in our living room having coffee (and tea if you're sean). It was about 10 am when we were having a conversation about Christmas music when the doorbell rang.
"Heyyy pebbleeee..." I start.
"No I will not get the door to your house," she says firmly.
"Damnit," I say and turn to sean.
"Pretty pleaaaaaseeee tell them I'm out of town or at work or I died pleeeeeeaaaaaaaseeeee." I run to the closet.
"I'm answering the door," he said getting up "but I'm telling them your home."
"Aw poo!" I call walking out of the closet.
Sean opens the door greeting my parents for the first time cuz did I mention, they missed the wedding and everything because I ran away. They have a lovely conversation at the door while I starred at pebble.
"I don't like this." I say and she simply nods.
At that moment my mother and father walk into my living room. I stand up off the couch. "Mooooom... daaaadddd...." I say with a fake excitement.
"Oh we just met your husband over here." My Mom says very kindly.
"I told him to be good to my daughter." My dad says thinking he's cool.
"That's great daaaad..." I say awkwardly.
"Who's your friend over here??" My mom asks again "did I not say you have a lovely house?" She asks.
"Oh yes of course." I say looking towards pebble.
"I'm Sophia, but the world calls me Pebble." She says shaking both my parents hands.
"I'm gold." My father says.
"I'm Abby, but you can call me me Sapph." She says.
Pebbles eyes get wide and she looks directly to Sean and I.
"Sapph...." we instantly say in a monotone voice.
For those of you who don't remember Sapph, well how dare you.
She is the reason for this story. However these Sapphs are not the same including this gold and my neighbor Tyler, perviously called gold are not the same either. Back to the story.
Sean pebble and I break out of the moment realizing there is no possible way Sapph is still alive.
After all, salad killed her twice.
I fetched some coffee for my parents and we all sat on the couch and talked until it was time to pick up Salad from the bus stop.
"I need to go get Salad from the bus stop," I say getting up from my seat.
"Nonsense Dawniehoe I'll get her!" My dad says.
"Dad she doesn't know you. She'll probably try to hurt you." I say honestly.
"Oh don't worry dear your friend Sophia is getting her daughter too I'm sure she can introduce us." He says.
"ITAKENORESPONSEBILITYFORWHATMYDAUGHTERMAYORMAYNOTDOTOYOUWEATHERITCAUSESSICKNESSINJURYORDEATHITWADNKTMYFAULT!" I scream the disclaimer as loudly as possible as Pebble and my father walk out the door.

Pebble's pov

I stood at the bus stop with Lauren's annoying father hoping and hoping Sarada and salads bus would arrive soon. He kept trying to talk to me about having safe sex and I was really scared (not fake tbh gold does this). After the 10th time telling him that Sasuke and I wanted to have a kid he finally shut his mouth. The bus then arrived and as usual, Nicole was the first kid off, then Sarada, then lily, then salad.
"So which one of these kiddos is my daughters?" He asks me as salad comes off.
"The ginger." I point to Salad looking happy as ever. Sarada runs over to me and gives me a hug as Lily grabs Kenzie's hand and they walk home and Nicole, being responsible and all, goes home alone.
"Hey kiddo, I'm your grandfather!" He walks over to salad and says.
"Yeah right buddy. I have a friend... his name is Ash, and he told me, people like you try to convince girls like me that their related to me then bam! Raped!" Salad says.
"Not ash..." I grumble under my breath. "Ash is not your friend Salad he's warning you about people like himself watch it!" I yell to her.
"Fuck you Pebble I'm going home." Salad days and storms off leaving her grand father behind. I shrug it off and walk Sarada back to our house across the street when I hear a Big Bang followed by salads voice.
"LISTEN OLD MAN! ITS NOT FUNNY! GO BOTHER SOMEONE ELSE!" Salad tells him off grabbing a mango from her bag and pelting it at gold as hard as she can. It hits him in the hits and he doubles over resulting in Lauren, Sean, and Saaaaaappppphhhhh.... to come outside.
"SALAD WHAT THE HELL!" Lauren yells running over to salad and grabbing her.
Sean rushes over to gold to help him up.

Lauren's pov

"Salad that really is your grandfather and you better apologize to him for throwing a mango at his balls!" I yell at her restraining her with both arms.
"NEVER!" She yells escaping my grip by stabbing my arm lightly with a pocket knife.
"Holy shit that child needs to stop!" I tell pulling the knife out of my arm as it leaves a gaping hole and gushes blood.
"Sean go get your daughter while I go get another bandaid!" I say throwing my arms up as blood drips everywhere.
My parents follow me inside worrying constantly about my wound as sean chases Salad down the street.
I almost finish bandaging up my arm when sean returns to the house when Salad in a head lock.
"I'll tie her in a chair." He announces grabbing a chair and ties her down effortlessly because, oh the practice we have.
He kneels down to talk to Salad eye to eye.
"Do you know what you have to do?" He asks her.
"Get a new knife?" She asks looking hopeful.
"No. Apologize to your mother and your grandfather." Sean lecturers her.
"UGGGHHHH IM SORRY MOM FOR STABBING YOU AGAIN AND IM SORRY," she makes air quotes and uses a sarcastic voice, "GRANDPA FOR SASSING YOU AND THROWING A MANGO AT YOUR NUTS!" She says and let's out a sigh.
"Can I go now?" She asks.
"Haha no." Sean says and walks away leaving Salad in the chair.
"What a lovely child you have..." mummy fakes a smile as her eye twitches.