Goddess Magazine Stories/Articles

Grow Up Or Get Out! (Dec, 2011/ Jan, 2012)

There comes point in your life where you have cut ties with the people who weigh you down. Whether its the boyfriend who spends an entire weekend playing World of Warcraft and not focusing an ounce of attention on you, or that drama filled friend in your life who likes to cause chaos just to get a thrill for their own pleasure, or that plain old manipulative bully, teasing you, making you feel worthless compared to them, and turning tables on the innocent bystanders, making their life a living hell. There is no need in anyone's life for unnecessary drama and stress from people who want to act like children or have evil intentions to get ahead. In the end, you will be brought down to that level, willingly or not. We've all had that one person in our lives who had “childish” intentions. As grown-ups, we know better. Kids on the other hand, do not, as they are still learning the fundamentals. There is a fine line between being a child at heart and just plain acting out of line and not joining the rest of the adult world. Time to put away the toys and immaturity and grow up or get out.

No matter how you look at it, it is all childish and should not be tolerated. Suffice it to say, it is a mentality that many people never grow out of, and if you keep feeding into it, the longer it will continue. Ultimately, a sit down with the person in question is not always something that works. Some time later, it may become the same pattern over again. You can't please them all, but if that is the path the followers want to travel, be my guest, but there comes a point where you refuse to tolerate childlike behavior and trouble anymore. Everyone has a breaking point; for most it is deciding to walk away from any type of those problematic relationships with their sanity. There are far better people to commit your time and effort to. It is for the best to banish these types of people from your life completely. It is very relieving to let go of the negative people in your life, and immediately you will feel a weight lifted. Admittedly, life is a little less exciting without that gossip sometimes, but it is definitely for the best.

I've known one particular person for about 20 years. We started in Kindergarten, and even then something seemed off. She always got me in trouble and made me out to be a mean kid, when in fact, she bullied to a degree. But, kids are always innocent in their mother's eyes, no matter what they've done and how old they get. Throughout high school, our friendship was always on and off, and in 10th grade, she started a vicious rumor about me because I didn't make out with some guy that she started dating after I had. I was tormented for weeks and called terrible names by my fellow classmates because of her doing. Eventually, the rumor became a thing of the past and we didn't talk for almost a whole school year, until she came crawling back to our group of friends when she had a violent episode with her boyfriend and broke off the relationship. Being the person I am, I forgave, but never forgot. Everything was peachy until the August after graduation. We started working at a supermarket together and I met ,y boyfriend at the time. Things got serious quickly, and before I knew it, she was jealous. We stopped speaking, and only had minimal conversation if we saw each other. One day, she came into the store and we were walking around talking. The next thing I knew, I was being called into the security office. There, on tape, was her and I talking and her stealing a can of baby formula for another high school friend. Of course, I almost lost my job because the manager thought I was in on it.

After 7 long years of not speaking, our paths thankfully went down two separate paths. Small town talk kept me informed of her addiction to drugs,and trouble she got into. At this point, I was so happy I had a strict upbringing, which was something I always hated and was teased about as a teen. If not for that, I could have easily been following the same road and making those poor decisions. In 2005, she found me on Myspace, and sent me a message explaining her story. And so our friendship began again. In the weeks that followed, she lied about being sober and her and her boyfriend at the time were thrown in jail and everyone but her mother and I left her to rot. I came into her dark world, not knowing about addiction and drugs, but stayed by her side and helped her through, visiting and being a friend, something that she has seemed to forgotten in recent years. In that time, she stole from my husband and I and has lied and weaseled her way.

and manipulate throughout those years, and felt like hurting people and playing mind games was the right thing to do.

A few years back, I needed a laproscopy to r , I gave her one last another chance after fallout because of a surgery I needed superseded her birthday plans. She turned into a very ugly, unsupportable friend in my time of support. This was a huge step in my life and would've affected my gift to bear children. She acted like a big baby, and treated me as if I purposely arranged my surgery the same week as her birthday plans . I decided she was in need of a severe reality check. My little one on one, was basically that friendship needs to change and this is the last warning kind of deal Suffice to say, it did not work. Less than eight months later, the person was playing the manipulative mind games, lying and keeping things from people in our circle of friends. Someone with that mentality, especially after the hardships she caused in her life, were a hard habit to break, she lied, cheated and stole her way with her friendships. When I finally saw through the veil blinding me, I decided to reconsider our relationship. Let's just say, she was quite upset when the tables turned, along with a few “friends” she twisted against me. Lesson learned.