Goddess Magazine Stories/Articles

When Your Ex Moves On (May, 2012)

“The right man will love all the things about you that the wrong man was intimidated by”

-Unknown

Truth. We've all been in love a time or two. We've all had out hearts trampled on. We've all wondered what happens when our seemingly great relationship has run its course and we've been replaced. What if the one you thought you'd spend the rest of your life with, the one you gave you heart to - moves on? Take a deep breath and calm yourself. I'll tell you. Get up of the ground, brush your shoulders off and do you! He or she didn't probably didn't deserve you in the first place and now you can put your time and effort into someone or something that will benefit your life!

Sure, it takes a bit to get over your ex and seeing or hearing about them with someone else shatters your being, has lasting effects and you compare every new relationship to the old one. There is no specific amount of time that says when one should be over someone, but if they've moved on without giving you a second thought, then you know you have to also. It's only natural to compare yourself to the new guy/girl and ask what they have that you don't and, of course, you have every right to get angry and rack your brain trying to figure out what where the relationship when wrong and how you can change things or how to get your ex back. It is only human to to be hurt when you've given someone so much time of your life or, in some cases, have given up friends, education or a career to be with someone, and when they are gone, you regret ever making those decisions. Don't dwell on what's over and done with and never live life with regrets – pick yourself up and move on, taking the break as a growing and learning experience. You aren't the only one this has ever or will ever happen to; everyone has been through at one time or another. Start fresh.

When it's meant to be, it's meant to be. These “trial” relationships, for lack of a better term, are preparing you for the real deal – The One - your soul mate, the one you are most compatible with, the one who has be meant for you and only you. Just don't drag your previous relationship's issues into a potential new romance. It's all about starting new, and the ex isn't worth your breath or space in your mind or heart anymore. Though the wounds of a failed relationship hurt and sometimes the tears will never seem to cease, in the end, you will heal and be mentally and emotionally stronger, allowing you give your everything to someone who deserves it when the time is right. In your time of “grieving”, there is nothing wrong with taking some time off from relationships and dating to help you move on and experience new things just as your ex did.

Nothing and no one is holding you back anymore. Go out with your friends, meet new people and have a good time. Laughter is the best remedy to keep away the break-up blues, as well as keeping yourself busy with things you enjoy, such as writing, cooking classes and art. Set new goals for your single self and follow through with them. Allow yourself to be angry and hurt, but do not over-indulge in self-pity. Go get your hair done and get a manicure/pedicure and go on a shopping spree to lift your mood and pamper yourself. It takes a lot of strength put on that big smile and look and feel fabulous when you see the ex and you strut by, whether you are or aren't pretending that you haven't been defeated and crushed by the split-up. At least you can look your best doing it, and it will boost your confidence when his jaw drops at how well you're doing without him. Who knows, you may even attract a beautiful stranger who could end up being your soul mate!

You never know when fate will work it's magic and the right person will appear before you. When you are watching your children and grandchildren grow up with the true person you are supposed to be with, you will forget all about your heartache and that you ever had an ex. It's all in your destiny and exes are meant to be exes for a reason.