Goddess Magazine Stories/Articles

I Hate Me (Feb, 2012)

 Sometimes we hate the the things we say and can't take back, and sometimes we hate the ways we act, or how our hair won't do what we want it to do, but in out society, many people literally hate themselves, also known as an inferiority complex. From the horrible things we read about or see on the news, it is becoming a pandemic and has become apart of society today. We've all heard of stories or even know of people who cut themselves, become dangerously promiscuous, drink excessively, become addicted to drugs, over-eat, don't eat at all, act irrationally to make themselves feel better about themselves, or, many times, end their life or take the lives of others. These sorts of actions will not make you love yourself, and more than likely, the cycle will continue, sending a self-loathing person into a deeper hatred for themselves.

Self-hatred, and feelings of shame are prime characteristics in several personality disorders and there are several types of disorders associated with it. They can be stemmed from bullying, and severe emotional, mental and physical abuse. When someone is at an emotional low, they can feel many negative traits about themselves, causing the self-hatred. For instance, if a person is bullied, they may begin believing that the horrible things they are tormented with are true and, it sends their self esteem even lower.

One example of self hatred is Body Dysmorphic Disorder, which is a mental illness that makes an individual believe and pinpoint something physically wrong with them, whether it be weigh or a microscopic pock mark that nobody else can notice. Many people who suffer from BDD may have been teased about their weight or physical features by their peers or even family members, parents, or spouses, which falls into the abuse/bullying category. People with BDD can spend hours in front of their mirror nitpicking every flaw that the think they see and can it lead to other serious diseases, such as Anorexia (not eating) and Bulimia (eating and purging), and the damages that they can do. One could also develop an addiction to cosmetic surgery to correct their “flaws”, which poses a great risk with anesthesia and/or infection. From time to time, Body Dysmorphic Disorder can result in severe emotional depression and other anxiety disorders, and social isolation/withdrawal.

Some people turn to drugs and alcohol to temporarily suppress their feelings and run from life's problems instead of owning up to them and finding a resolution. In their mind, these substances can be euphoric for the time they are drunk or high, but then when sobriety hits, they are back to their previous state of mental anguish. This behavior can and more than likely will lead to substance addiction, which can also lead to depression and/or violent behaviors, such as domestic abuse.

Leading a promiscuous lifestyle is another example that individuals may choose, giving them the false hope that it will make them feel better about themselves. Sex with multiple partners is very risky and can lead to sexually transmitted diseases and infections, unwanted pregnancy, and could possibly put you in a potentially dangerous situation, such as date rape. It will not find happiness, and in fact, will have the reverse effect on a self-loather's psyche.

Suicidal tendencies or inflicting pain upon one's self is another possible outcome of self hatred. Cutting is an especially large trend among many teenagers and young adults. Cutting is mostly done on parts of the body that can be covered by clothing and jewelry. A small trigger of any stress can cause a cutter to mutilate themselves, and they see it as a form of release, but if they cut too deep or in the wrong area near major arteries, the person could bleed to death.

If you or someone you know shows any of these traits, please let someone know or approach them with your concerns. There are several hotlines you can always call anonymously to talk to an experienced operator, and they can also provide counselors that specialize in self-hatred, Body Dimorphic Disorder, substance abuse, depression, suicide and abuse. Please do not hesitate to take the first steps in the right direction.

Keep in mind that you have to be able to love yourself to love others, and there is always a light at the end of the darkest tunnel. At the end of the day, you have to try to find your positive ground and gain composure to figure out what it is that is making you hate yourself and self-loathe. Get assistance with the help of a counselor or family member or friend you trust. Get the root of the problem and take the steps necessary to stop the self-hating feelings so you can achieve inner peace and begin respecting and accepting yourself to live a happy, healthy, fulfilling life.