It's an extremely cold day. I walk in to school shivering because as stupid as I am I forgot my school jumper.
Andy, Bradie, Kate and Emma are sitting at one table, but I notice Shaun standing alone at my table. Waiting to talk to me. I speed passed everyone and join him as he's standind there leaning against the table, there's no emotion on his face, no smile, no frown. Just a blank expression.
"Issy, are you okay?" he asks extremely concerned. I find it odd how his emotion changed from none to sympathy.
I nod my head. "I'm fine"
He grits his teeth and I can tell hims contemplating saying something. "I'm not going to try convince you of anything, but it'd mean a lot to ME if you give him a chance to explain" he says. I'm tempted to tell him that Beth already beat him to the punch but I'll save that story for another day.
"Tell him to meet me behind that wall" I point to the wall to our right, it's well known for 'talking' at our school. He nods his head and mouths a 'thank you'.
I walk in that direction ready to meet him, I feel my hair blow in the cold breeze reminding me of cold I am myself. I prop my back up against the wall for the purpose of being comfortable.l I hear the sound of crunching gravel. More specifically, foot steps.
I make eye contact with him as he reaches where I'm standing. He doesn't look me in the eyes, I think it's because he's scared to see anger in them. He's wrong.
He begins to apologise. "Issy I'm-"
Out of respect for him I place my index finger on his lips signaling for him to 'shhh'. There's not really any reason for him to be apolgising for nothing.
"Beth told me everything" I say before he begins to cover everything she already said.
"She did?" He looks surprised, he's convinced that Beth can't do anthing kind. She's proven him wrong.
"I'm shocked too" I say in his defence.
He laughs now, and I quickly smile but it fades to a serious expression.
"I still owe you an apology" he states. "I'm sorry your night was spoiled"
I smile at how sweet this boy is. "No, my night was great" I assure him. "Well, most of it"
"So we're all good?" he questions, he's not physically touching me but he's standing so close the I feel his strong prescence. It makes my breathing stutter.
"Yes" I answer, almost short of breath because of the tension, at how nervous he makes me on a daily basis.
"Friends?" he offers me his hand to shake. My heart drops hearing the word. Am I okay with being just friends? Obviously not but it's obviously all he wants right now.
"Friends" I agree, shaking his hand, hardly a smile on my face.
The bell rings. Saved by the bell is quite literal, I feel so defeated right now. I begin to walk to human bio but he opens his mouth again.
"No hug?" he queries. I don't speak because I know it'll come out a stutter. I just throw my arms around his shoulders as he does my waist. I can't help but be a little disappointed, but maybe it just wasn't meant to be you know?
*
I'm loving lunch nowadays. Kate, Emma and I have joined Shaun, Andy and Bradie at their lunch table. I told Emma about the whole Andy thing and she finds it more saddening than even I do.
I take a seat next to Kate and don't even make eye contact with anyone. I feel kind of awkward I guess, I reach into my bag and grab 'To Kill A Mockingbird' and begin reading.
"Psssst" Emma whispers when she knows I'm about to turn the page, she's considerate like that.
I look up to her knowingly. "Are you okay, love?" she whispers again, this time a bit more sincerely. I'm not afraid that anyone else heard because Emma's smart enough to ask when they're all busy doing other things.
I shrug my shoulders. I just can't seem to lie and say I am okay. I know I will be though, I think I just need time.
Andy, who's sitting next to Emma on the opposite side of the table looks at me. I put a smile on my face and sink down into the chair drowning my sorrows in my book.
When I think I'm finally alone with my book I feel another persons shoulder rub against my own as they take a seat beside me. Andy. I try to swallow but my mouth is dry from all of the things I wish I could say that just won't come out.
"Issy, are you really okay?" he asks, he places his hand of top of my hand that's rested on the table.
I can't think of anything to say? I can't possibly tell him the truth.
I pack my book in my bag and slide my hand out from under his. I can't do it, I can't be that close to him yet.
"I will be" I answer with a smile and sling my bag over my shoulder. I wave good bye to everyone and head to the library where I can truly have some alone time.
Andy's P.O.V
We all watch her walk away, all thinking the same thing. The whole group breaks up into conversation about the matter but of course I'm left out, again. They all know I have the strongest feelings for her so why do they still choose to keep things from me?
"Emma, is Isabel okay?" I ask almost outraged.
She looks at me sort of coldly, but not in the mean way. Almost concerned. "You heard her, she will be". Shaun nods at me in agreement to what Emma said.
I give her the most worried look I can. "Em, you didn't answer my question, please".
She looks at Shaun, who looks at her. Shaun speaks up on her behalf. "Look bro, she was just getting used to the idea that you liked her, and then you went and suddenly dropped the friend card. Just give her some time, you'll be friends again soon alright."
Kate places a hand on mine friendlyly. "She just feels a little humiliated at the moment, I would be too. It'll wear off" I give Kate a smile, she's such a lovely person.
But what have I done? I guess I thought that after what happened all she'd want to be is friends. I'm as upset as she is about the whole thing, but what am I supposed to do now?
