Surf's Up?

Brian

Ellis' POV

What in the hell is going on. First, Hill snaps. Then, Steele thinks he can just slide back into my life, like he didn't tell me he loved me and then rip my heart in half. Yes, I'm admitting it. My feelings for Steele overwhelmed and consumed me like nothing I'd ever felt. It was like a fire that started at my toes and slowly crept up my body until I was suffocating in the smoke. I hated this. I hated that I cheated on my boyfriend. I hated Hill for breaking up with me the way he did. If he was going to end things, after all that had happened, then I was going to be honest with him. I was going to tell him the truth.

I walked through the halls, going over again and again exactly what I would say. His harsh words still ran through my brain, causing my heart to beat faster. Was I really flirting with other guys? Was I a horrible girlfriend the past four months? Maybe I shouldn't talk to him for a couple days. I should process and let it sink in, right? I knew I wanted to though. Hill made me feel safe, secure. He was one of the steady things in my life. He made me grounded. Sure, he made a lot of mistakes and he wasn't too observant, but he was Hill. I needed him in my life. looked up suddenly, not knowing where I was going. I turned around quickly and noticed that I was the only one in the hall. Great, now I'm late for class. A familiar voice said my name. I turned back around and let out a sigh of relief. Brian.

"Hey Brian."

His face was the most concerned I'd ever seen. "Ellis are you okay? I'm sorry about earlier, I never saw that coming."

I shook my head, "Me neither. I'm okay. I'm going to talk to him after he's simmered down and we'll figure it out."

If I wasn't mistaken, a look of disbelief flashed across his face. "You're going to try to work this out with him?" Nope, definitely not mistaken.

"Yeah..." I said slowly, "Is that wrong?" His face betrayed him. He absolutely believed it was wrong. But then it shifted. Totally normal. Am I imagining things? Wouldn't be the first time.

"Nah, I think thats great that you could work it out. I'm just concerned because of the way he treated you. He was way out of line. Doesn't he trust you?"

I looked down at my feet. "Maybe he shouldn't," I muttered. I looked up and the tears began to build up. Good Lord, I feel like I couldn't keep it together. Like the damn holding back everything was completely cracked and minutes away from crumbling forever. Brian stepped closer until I could see every detail of his blue eyes. They were grey on the outside mixing with a beautiful ocean blue. The little white daisies around the pupils almost made me smile in the midst of everything. "What are you talking about Ellis? You would never do anything to hurt anyone."

I sighed as another tear slipped down my cheek. "Maybe not intentionally," I whispered.

Brian stood still, giving me time to confess. I took a deep breath and stared him straight in the eyes. And then the words came. They flooded the air around us and encased us. The truth was in the open, free to anyone who was around. Fortunately, it was just us.

"So how do you feel about him now?" Brian practically whispered it, as if he was afraid of the answer. I shook my head, unsure. After all that happened, my heart was hurting too much to think about all of the good things in the people I cared about. He seemed to understand. He looked down at the tile beneath us, took a deep breath as if to say something, but simply looked up and nodded. He pulled me in for a hug and squeezed gently. Wiping a tear off of my cheek, not another word was said as he pulled away, smiled, and walked off. I stood still, waiting for the relief of knowing I had a friend to support me, wash over me, but it didn't. Instead, I felt melancholy and empty. I felt as if I had hurt him. How was that possible? Perhaps thats just the way it is. When you hurt someone, you continue to feel as if you hurt everyone.

The next couple of days were shit. I walked through the halls feeling like a shell. Hill wasn't at school the whole week. Maybe to get away from me. Or maybe to get away from everyone. I wasn't sure. Reese was a good friend. She was supportive but not all in my business. Steele and I hardly made eye contact. Brian continued to eat lunch with me everyday, for which I was grateful. We laughed and talked and did homework together. It felt like old times. I remember the first time we met.

Freshman year: I was new to the school. I had gone to a different school for my middle school years and I immediately felt uncomfortable walking through the doors. Fortunately for me, I made friends quickly. Reese had been in my English class and Brian in my Biology class. I was too scared to talk to him, even though he was my lab partner, until one day he wore a Needtobreathe shirt to school. I had to say something. I mustered up my courage and put on my best smile. "I love your shirt. Nobody in California knows who they are." He shook his head and laughed. "Tell me about it. I think I got about thirty weird stares this morning. I guess it doesn't help that I'm a freshman." I laughed, "Probably true." He grinned at me and sat down. We continued to talk about our favorite songs the rest of the period. Our friendship grew from there. At first, it was nonchalant and we remained friends simply in Biology. But as the year continued, we began to talk about everything - movies, books, music, family... We connected on so many things that it seemed as if we were the same person. Reese said that we must have been twins. That bothered Brian. I didn't know until junior year that he had had a crush on me then. We became undeclared best friends halfway through sophomore year. We did everything together. And then at the end of the year, we both began to date different people. Our relationship changed slightly. Neither of us wanted to talk about it, but junior year was different because of it. Neither of us ever liked who the other person was dating, but we still made the effort to hang out. Things weren't the same, but we made it work. Then Hill asked me to Prom. The cutest guy in our grade asked me to the Prom. It was the best and worst day of my life. Brian was shocked when I said I was going with Hill. He yelled at me, saying that Hill was a terrible person and that I would only get hurt. My defense wasn't strong and it made me mad enough to not talk to him for several weeks. At the dance, Hill pulled me away to an empty classroom and we talked. And I really liked him. A lot. We hit it off. No other explanation. And then he kissed me. It wasn't the best kiss. There weren't fireworks or butterflies, but it was sweet and gentle. Brian walked in with his date in hand, his jaw dropped, walked out and didn't talk to me until the end of the year. When we finally confronted each other, we both yelled. I cried and told him that I didn't want to talk to him again. That if he couldn't handle the fact that I liked Hill, then we couldn't be friends. He walked out and didn't look back.