Six Feet Under the Stars (Jalex Fanfic)

Under the Stars (Ch. 19)

this chapter does mention self harm, just so you know.

ALEX

Jack was worried and scared. It was obvious. Flyzik's situation wasn't the best, but he would never get mad at Jack. Yeah, it was a foolish accident, but Flyzik didn't have to protect Jack. So we all knew Flyzik wasn't mad. Although, the whole time Jack was in the hospital his eyes were filled with fear. It was a fear I had only seen a few times.

The first time was when I walked in on him drawing a blade across his own already bleeding wrists. We were only teenagers and his life hadn't exactly been rainbows and sunshine at the time. I remember walking into his dark bedroom, which wasn't unusual because whenever we weren't at school or hanging out, he slept. As I flicked the lights on, though, I saw a horrifying sight of crimson blood and tears. That was when I found out that he self harmed.

The second time was when my brother killed himself. Jack came to my house and saw me, a sobbing mess on the ground. With police and doctors everywhere, that was bound to scare Jack. When he got to me, his eyes were filled with this fear that something happened to me. Even when he found out, the look didn't go away. Jack knew my brother meant the world to me. He didn't want to see me or my family hurting.

The third time was the previous night. Jack tried not to be sad. He was always the happy guy of our band, no sad days. Yet, the Flyzik situation caused more pain for Jack in years. That night was different from any other time. I had not seen Jack like this since our first tour. His eyes bloodshot, skin scratched and dotted red with already dried blood, two toned hair going in all directions. He had a look of fear and self loathing. You can never really tell when someone hates themself, most people fake it well. It was different with Jack. You knew he was thinking bad thoughts, considering doing bad things. He had the look of fear as if he just got caught in the act of murder.

Then, today. The fear of knowing he could lose a best friend, a brother. The fear of the idea that he could lose the band, lose everything we all worked so hard for. He had had the fear of getting caught, the fear of other's being in pain, and the fear of self loathing. This was the fear of losing everything. It was a fear of losing his life, his love of music and tours and the fans. It was a fear that I had to help him get over.

So, I was there. All evening as Jack and Flyzik sat and talked, or at least tried to talk. Flyzik was still having difficulties. I was there with him, though. As Flyzik fell asleep, I stood up, looking at the gorgeous boy in front of me. He smiled back at me with weary eyes and I gave him a smile.

"Smile, Jack. We're gonna go back to the bus, get Monsters and candy, cuddle in your bunk, and watch Home Alone." I said to him as we walked out of the hospital. I couldn't take him out to dinner or party, but I could cuddle and watch his favorite movie with him.

With a smile, Jack kissed my cheek and put his head on my shoulder in the taxi. Things were slowly looking up. Jack was happier than the day before and that was all I needed. I needed the boy I loved so dearly to be just that - happy. If it took me days of watching Home Alone to get him back to how he was a week ago, I would do it. He deserved to be happy.

We pulled up to the bus and got out, paying the driver. I hopped onto the bus and smiled down at Jack who was looking at the stars. It was a clear sky and we were far enough from all the city lights that we could see billions of stars.

"Can we just sit out here for awhile?" Jack said, taking my hand and pulling me back out. With a nod, I sat on the grass and pulled Jack down on my lap. It was beautiful outside.

"I love you." Jack mumbled, staring at the stars and tracing shapes into the sky with his finger. I took his free hand in mine, kissing his temple. He sighed and leaned back, sleepily. "Sing me to sleep."

With a chuckle, I ran a hand through his hair, wrapping my arm tightly around his waist. Softly singing into his ear, Daydream Away. I could feel Jack smile against my shoulder before his breathing got heavier. Looking at the stars, I breathed in softly.

"I love you, too, Jack. I really do."

finally i updated. took me long enough lol. i hope you all had a wonderful holiday and i hope this chapter is good enough to hold you over till the next one. ily all and please please vote and comment!