True Love Always Finds Its Way // Phan

Chapter 9: The New Year's Break-Up

New Year's Eve was finally here! 2016 has been a pretty good year for Phil and I's career. We released another book (Dan and Phil Go Outside), and we've gone to so many new places and met so many new people! Sarah has been getting a lot of attention as well. The fans love her and they were all so happy when they found out she was engaged to Phil!

2016 has also had many downs. All of the terrorism, racism, sexism, and violence that the world has been going through is just tragic. I'm so excited to start fresh with a brand new year! The world really needs it.

How have I been doing? Well I've been feeling great actually. All of the feelings that I felt before are officially gone. I'm not jealous, I'm not mad. I'm happy and excited for what the future is going to bring all of us.

Phil, Sarah, and I were having our own little New Year's Eve party at our apartment. We had the newscast of the ball dropping in New York City on the T.V., some chips, drinks, and some nifty party hats.

I was stuffing my face with chips, as I saw Phil and Sarah get up and walk into Phil's room.

"Guys, where are you going?" I called. "The ball drops in 30 minutes!"

A couple of minutes later, they came out and they looked like they just left a funeral.

"Dan, can we talk to you?" Phil asked.

I turned down the T.V. and said, "Sure." Surprisingly, I wasn't afraid. I wasn't questioning every bad thing I have ever done, like I usually do. Things were going so well lately, that my confidence was super high, and I felt like nothing could bring me down.

Wrong AGAIN.

They both sat down next to me on the couch; Phil on one side, and Sarah on the other.

"We have something big to tell you," Sarah sighed. Uh oh. Her facial expression didn't look good at all.

"Sarah and I are going to live together," Phil said.

"What do you mean? You're already living together," I laughed, obviously thinking this was just some big joke.

"No," Sarah said looking right into my eyes. "We're going to get our own house in the suburbs and live together."

Ok, happiness was officially gone.

"We just want a bigger place to maybe start a family in the future," Phil explained. "I'm sure you're okay with this, right? I mean, you get to have this whole place to yourself!" he laughed.

I looked over at Sarah who was looking at me with a pitiful look in her eyes. I didn't blame her. If I were in her position, I would want a bigger house and stuff too. I looked over at Phil. Phil was the one I was angry at.

This was it. I was tired of just running away and lying about my feelings. So I got up and told Phil how I truly felt about this situation.

"NO!" I shouted. "HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME? HOW COULD YOU JUST ABANDON OUR CAREER AND OUR LIVES LIKE THIS? HOW ARE WE GOING TO FILM? WHAT ARE OUR FANS GOING TO THINK? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE DOING THIS!" I started crying tears of anger and betrayal. I guess all of those romantic feelings I had for Phil, turned into feelings of anger.

Sarah just looked at the ground in disappointment. Phil was staring at me in disbelief.

"I had no idea you felt this way Dan," he said. "I'm so sorry, but we're just moving to a house outside of town. We can still meet up and create videos! I just want you to understand that I still care about you and I just feel like this is what's best for Sarah and I and our future together."

"Well it's not best for us," I snapped. "Either you stay here, or you leave and lose me."

"No, you can't do this!" Phil snapped back. "Look, if you were my real friend, you wouldn't make me choose like this!"

"If you were my real friend, you wouldn't have lied to me about meeting Sarah! You would've told me right away that you guys were talking! You would've told me right away that you were leaving to go meet her! But no! You always wait until the last minute to tell me anything! As if I mean nothing to you!" I yelled.

"Of course you mean something to me, Dan!" he argued. "I'm sorry I waited so long to tell you everything! I just assumed that you would be okay with all of it! Because true friends always support each other no matter what! Why didn't you ever speak up and tell me how you felt before?"

"I don't know!" I yelled. Yeah, great comeback, Dan.

"Well then I don't understand why you're so upset!" he said.

"Because I hate seeing you move on without me! Your life is getting better and better, and I'm just getting left in the dust!" I shouted. I had to stop this argument before I accidentally let my secret out AGAIN.

"Dan, I-" Phil began.

"No!" I shouted. "Just get out of here! Both of you! I never want to see either one of you ever again!"

"What?!" Phil exclaimed. "Dan no! What about our career and everything you just said?!"

"I don't care! I can do fine on my own! You're always making things worse for me! I don't need you! People always say you're just my sidekick and you don't matter! Well they're right! I can do perfectly fine on my own! You said you wanted to buy a house? Well now you can start looking!" I ran to Phil's room, grabbed a suitcase, threw it at him, and added, "The sooner you're gone, the better I'll feel!"

He stared at me. It looked like he wanted to break down in tears.

"Fine!" he yelled. "I'll be more than happy to leave!" He ran to his room with his suitcase and slammed the door.

Sarah was just sitting on the couch. She looked sadder than I've ever seen her. She was looking at me as if she were saying, "What the hell is wrong with you???"

About 5 minutes later, Phil barged out of his room with tears in his eyes. He looked over at Sarah and said, "Come on, Sarah. I packed your bag as well. Let's get out of here."

"Phil, no!" Sarah got up and yelled. "I have to get out of here myself! I have to escape this apartment, this town, this country! I just destroyed a perfect friendship! I can't deal with ruining anything else! I love you Phil, but this can't go on." She took off her ring and placed it in Phil's hands, wiped away her tears, grabbed her suitcase, and ran out the door.

Phil was broken. He was really crying now. He turned around at me and said 8 words that made my heart drop to the pit of my stomach.

"I wish I never met you Dan Howell!"

He grabbed his suitcase and slammed the door behind him.

As I stood there, allowing all of my pain and depression to come flowing back into my body, I heard the T.V. say,

"3... 2... 1... HAPPY NEW YEAR! HELLO 2017! HERE'S TO A WONDERFUL YEAR!"

Yeah, what better way to start off the new year than to break up the two most important relationships of your life?

Happy freakin' new year.