More than friends, less than lovers

In my mind

We can start fresh if you'd just let go of the past yeah

Can't just love me in pieces gotta love it all

You try to make me feel like being humans wrong

Our love is effortless stop acting like you're scared

I get down on my knees but you're not playing fair

/In my mind - Maty Noyes/

"You have to stop blaming him for what happened with us. It wasn't his fault."

"I'm not blaming him, Jane," he said, "you're the one who made the choice after all."

Janes POV

"Can't we just move forward?" I asked, tired of this never ending drama with him, "let's leave the past where it belongs."

He seemed to consider it for a second, but I knew he was thinking too much and would say no any second now so I had to step in. 

I took a step towards him, taking his hand in mine and looking in his eyes: "do you honestly not feel anything towards me anymore?"

He simply stared at me: "apologize."

"What do you mean?" I furrowed my brows, "I have done that already."

"Apologize and actually mean it," he said completely seriously.

At that moment I knew what he meant by it. He knew I wasn't sorry, because if I had to, I would do it again. I wasn't sorry, because I would never regret being there for Jack when he needed me. 

"I can't do that," I said honestly, "I did the right thing, maybe not the right way, but I still made the right decision."

He leaned in, his hand reaching behind my back to open the door, signaling that it's time for me to go. 

"Can we just stop?" I said, "I am tired of this. Yes, I left you. Yes, it is my fault. But I can't apologize for not leaving my friend behind. I couldn't do that. You have to understand. I just want to be with you now that we finally can be."

He still stared at me, "it doesn't work that way."

"Why? Give me a reason why it can't work that way."

His palm rested on my cheek, as he leaned in kissing me softly. Talk about unexpected. Without hesitation I responded to his lips with mine. The moment was soon over as we stood there with our foreheads connected, looking into each others eyes. For one of the first times after a year I saw him have emotions. He was sad.

"I love you, Jane," he said, "I always will, but we can't keep on doing this. We need to move on. Separately."

"Don't do that," I said, "we can move past this."

He separated our foreheads, stepping away from me, still holding my hand.

"Just give us a chance," I stepped closer to him, "we deserve it."

It was clear he was still thinking about it, so I did the only thing that could convince him and gave him another soft kiss. He couldn't deny that he felt it too. The whole world stopping when we were together. The goosebumps appearing on both of our skins. 

"Okay," he said, after the kiss, "we should at least try."

A smile appeared on my lips as I gave him a peck, then jumping on him, my legs around his waist and starting to place small kisses all around his face. After I finished I looked into his eyes.

"A new beginning," I said, "no past. No holding back."

He nodded, giving me a peck. 

I still felt like I was dreaming when we went to sleep cuddled together, afraid to let go because the other might disappear any second. I looked at his face for quite a while, tracing his features with my fingers. He was so beautiful. Then my fingers landed on his lips, my thumb stroking it softly. 

Nicks eyes fluttered opened as he looked intensely in my eyes, then his eyes moving downwards to my lips, then back at my eyes as if asking for a permission.

I leaned in, kissing him softly. Making love with our mouths. We both pulled back soon after. 

"I love you," I said as I was looking into his eyes, our bodies as close as they could get.

"I love you too J," he said, giving me a peck and keeping on playing with my hair. 

Soon the sleep took over. All I wished was that this wasn't a prank that someone above decided to play on me. 

***

As it turns out, it wasn't a dream. I did wake up in an empty bed, but the smell of mint still lingered on the sheets. The smell of Nick. I heard shower running, so I figured he was in there. 

I went in the bathroom, seeing the naked backside of Nick. He seriously looked like a greek statue. 

Taking off the shirt and underwear, I stepped in the shower, hugging his naked body from behind and placing a kiss on the crook of his neck. 

He quickly spun around, pressing me against a wall and starting to kiss me passionately, his arms sliding all over my body, until one of them stopped at my most vulnerable part starting to massage me. I moaned as I pulled back slightly and he decided this was the right time to slide his fingers inside me, starting slowly and slowly quickening the pace. This was pure torture and pleasure in one. 

"Nick," I said, telling him to do what had to be done already.

Needless to say he didn't need to be told twice. 

***

I walked down the stairs, heading to kitchen, humming a song to myself.

"Someone's happy this morning," Liam smirked. 

I ignored his remark, pouring myself some orange juice: "where's everyone else?" 

"Oh, you didn't know?" he asked, his eyes shooting up in surprise. 

"Know what?" I squinted my eyes at him.

"We got a message from Dennis," he chewed on his sandwich.

"Tell me it's not what I am thinking," I placed down my cup angrily. 

"Yes, Jee Jee," he finished his coffee, standing up, "we've got work to do."

Lucky me.