More than friends, less than lovers

The party

What's left to do, but to feel it all? 

You're alive now to die as dust 

Nothing less as something more

/Aloha - Mome/

As if these annoying heels weren't eating up enough for my nerves, Nick had actually spent his whole night being with this girl who was all over him.

And I thought this was supposed to be a party with people who have manners and brain. Or, hopefully, both. Clearly too much to ask for.

Sighing I took another sip of whatever fancy drink was in my glass.

"Ok, should we leave? You have seriously been sighing and drinking in the same spot for like 2 hours!" Jack said, trying to take my glass away, but I quickly managed to get it back.

"That's not true!"

"Mhm, except a few bathroom breaks you haven't moved an inch, Jane.."

I decided to not listen to the full lecture and drifted away, turning my head, only this time I was kind of shocked. Nick was making out with that good for nothing chick and that wasn't even the worst part.

He was looking me dead in the eye and smirking while doing that. He must enjoy this, that prick.

I raised my eyebrow and smiled, raising my glass to cheer him. Then I realized that this is the moment I change rules of this sick game he made.

"Hey, Jack, let's go dance!"

"Uh, ok. If that's what it takes to get you out of that spot!"

I probably took him by surprise, but before he would question me, I took his arm and went to the dance floor, quickly making sure Nick saw it.

The erised was playing Pray live.

Jack took one of my hand in his and put the other on his shoulder. Shocker, this guy knew how to dance after I had spent about half of my life learning this to him.

He softly bent me down, then spun me out, to have my back pinned to his chest as we slowly moved, before he once again spin me out to have my face facing his as we kept dancing.

"Jane, I don't know what kind of sick game you have going on with Nick, but I don't think making him jealous with me will work," he looked me in the eye while saying this.

So I looked in his, smiling. "I have no idea what you are talking about, bestie."

"Ok, then look at his expression while we dance like.." he moved my arms around his neck and pulled me closer, "this."

I could only hope Jack didn't recognize how badly I wanted his lips right here, right now. But this was just not meant to happen even if I did, so my eyes trailed from his lips to over his shoulder where Nick was looking at us with cold stare.

He clearly saw me looking as he raised his glass and raised it, cheering me and smiling before disappearing into the crowd.

"Jane, the song is over," Jack softly whispered in my ear.

I put on the best smile I could. "Yeah, okay. Thank you for the dance, chubby!"

"I'll go to the restroom, see you later."

As my only savior had left, I headed back to the crowd, but then decided to leave about 30 minutes later, getting tired of all the guys checking me out and coming by.

***

"Is anyone here?" I shouted, coming in the house.

As I heard no answer it actually made me so glad, as I quickly took my heels and dress off, heading upstairs only in my underwear.

I was secretly thanking Jack for packing a few headbands and loads of other small things I totally would of forgotten about.

So quickly I made a ponytail, put on my sports bra, shorts and a sport jacket. I thought a few hours in the gym was exactly what I needed.

Putting on an exercise playlist I had gone hardcore in 20 minutes by kicking and punching the punchbag.

Only now I realized how much anger I had kept inside as I literally kicked the shit out of the punchbag while sweating just enough to prove how much energy I was putting in this.

Caught unprepared I felt cold arms dig in the skin of my hips. I would know these arms even if my senses were gone.

Slowly I took out my earplugs just to hear my hard breathing and feel his cold minty breath on my neck.

I tried to turn around but he just stopped me with his hands firmly placed on my hips like rocks. So I placed my fingers on his and slowly put them to my lips, kissing his knuckles. He didn't stop me so I slowly slid his arms to the side of my breasts and he visibly tensed under my skin.

That's when I felt his lips against my shoulders, making their way to my weak spot - the spot between neck and shoulders, so I quickly turned around before he could make me weak.

We were so close that I could only dream about it. He pulled a strand of my hair behind my ear and kept on looking me in my eyes.

I wanted him so bad at this very moment that I just didn't care anymore, so I kissed him, jumping on his waist so my legs were around his torso, my hands both sides of his face.

I kissed him with all I had, all the feelings I had left unsaid for all these years. He did respond, not that passionately which made me surprised so I pulled back confused.

He was lost, I could see it in his eyes, but then he looked at me and something seemed to click in him, because the next thing I know, I was being pinned to the wall, my legs still on his torso. And this time he kissed me. If kisses could speak, I would understand what this all of them meant but now I could only tell he seemed desperate, he needed this to breath.

My hands made their way to the bottom of his shirt, quickly taking it off him and exploring his whole body, which had gotten way better since the last time this happened.

I pushed him away for a second, my hands again on his cheeks, thumbs on his lips.

We were both panting, so I took my chance to breathe in before I said it.

He looked confused, full of lust, despair, need. This made me say it.

"I want you, Nick," I looked in his eyes, "now, please."