Love & Pain: Rain

Idiot.

I don't know if it's love,
Or I am just an idiot,
But even though it hurts me,
I feel like I still come for more.

I am an idiot,
that keeps coming back,
My heart is tossed and trampled,
And it still melts when I see him.

Is that smell of him
Or the look on his eyes,
That has me on my knees?

Is that beautiful smile
And that voice of his,
That makes me come back to him?

Or I'm just an idiot?

Is the way he makes me feel so happy
When I'm around him,
The way I see him smile
And he looks down at me after we kiss?

Is the way his eyes and smile
Has more power than his words?
Or the way he hugs me tight
And comforts me whenever I'm scared?

Is that golden heart of his?
Or the way he sings me to sleep?
Or those little things he does,
Like waking me up with a kiss on my nose?

He has done way too much
To this broken heart in so many ways,
But I know more than anyone
That I'm a fool for him.

And I can't help but wonder,
Aren't we all?
We all make this stupid things,
When we love someone.

We are willing to give it all
And there is people who receive back,
But I'm the idiot one from the back
Who never receives anything.

And that day,
When I saw him with her,
And he ignored me,
My eyes opened.

And I realised,
That all that time I thought he loved me
And that he was going to be back,
It was just being my idiotic heart trying to convince me of something that was never true.

And it hurt.
Because I was just being an idiot the whole time.

But also realised;
He was an idiot as well,
For not loving me.

And while I was writing this,
Ranting about him being with her,
Seeing him with her,
Life was just laughing at both of us.
We were both being idiots.