Adoption

Chapter 6- seems like forever

Chapter 6

I seem to slip in and out of consciousness since then, but now without eyesight. At one point I heard someone else's scream, at another I heard sirens. It's quite annoying going between being unconscious and aware of sounds as I'm never sure how much time has passed between each change. At the moment I think I'm on a ward in a hospital but I'm not too sure. I've heard different people around me, half of which I don't think I even know. I wish I knew what happened to Beth and Megan because from what I have heard, no ones mentioned them. I hate not being able to open my eyes or move, being able to hear and think occasionally, it sucks. I can normally feel myself slipping out of consciousness and it feels really weird, but each time I question if I'm going to re-gain consciousness.

When I am conscious I swear my mind drives itself mad. Constant questions and doubts. I really hope I'm not like this for longer even if it means that I never wake up. I know I shouldn't think like that, but at least I'd be with Twisha my sister again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It seems like I've been in hospital for ages. Realistically, it's probably been a week at the most. I don't get as much pain as I did in the beginning, at first my arm, leg, back and head wrecked but now I only have a sort of numb pain that comes and goes. I miss Jessie's voice... I know I said that she talked all of the time and when the sleepover was finished it would be nice to have a break but I really want to hear that voice at least one more time, even just talking and not singing! I know she's a famous singer and that she's busy but I wish she'd come to visit me. From what I know so far she hasn't.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- Hello

Somehow I manage to go into listening consciousness to hear just as Jessie started talking.. Wait.. Jessie!! I can't believe she's visiting me!!!! I heard her sniff a little.

Jess- um hiya Alysa, it's Jessie. Sorry that I've not been able to come and visit you, when you said that your social worker was an idiot and annoying, I guess you were right. He didn't want me to see you because he said 'I didn't properly know you' and that he didn't need me to be there. Eventually I talked him into letting me come. And also I've had to work it round my tour because that started the other week. Oh and it's been 3 and a half weeks that you've been in hospital by the way. Your social worker is quite damn stubborn.

I feel her hand reach to hold mine and I wished that I could squeeze it and reassure her that I'm okay and that I can hear her. And because I could tell in her voice no matter how hard she tried to hide it that she was on the verge of crying. She started talking to me again.

Jess- I know there's a chance that you can't hear me.. Your doctor told me to not bother talking to you as he thinks you can't hear at all. I probably shouldn't tell you this, but they're talking about turning off your monitor in the next week, the thing that keeps you in this state, as you haven't shown many signs of improvement..... but personally I think is a load of crap. How can they give up on you already? I haven't. If you can hear me, I believe in you and that you can wake up and be fine. I hope with all my heart that you do and I'm sure you will do too. I don't know if... If you felt or feel the same way, but I was thinking that after just a few more days out with each other I could ask you if you would be okay with me adopting you. I know we've not really known each other for a long time, but I'm sure we're right for each oher. I really hope that I do get a chance to ask you it, because you're a really strong and friendly person who doesn't deserve in the slightest to go through what you've been through, and I wanna be there for you and know that you're okay.

I haven't properly thought about it until now, but I do feel the same way. It's like she's the parent that I've never had, well not properly had anyway. She's the most amazing person and that's even putting aside her incredible voice. I know that if I do die now, then I'll be with Twisha again, but I think I'd prefer to live through this and get to live with Jessie. As much as I loveTwisha I want to be with Jessie and I want to prove to Beth and Megan that they're not stronger than me. I feel Jessie adjust her position while she tightens her grip on my hand and then she starts to talk again-

Jess- I know that I wrote this song for my best friend Holly, but right now these words are so right, please keep holding on and prove them wrong.

And then she starts to sing. I know that I said her voice was amazing when I listened to it on my iPod, but when she sings live.. just wow. At first her voice was slightly raw, I think from her crying, but after the first few lines she sang loads better than on the track, definitely making this song one of my favourites-

Don't ever give up

on us on us on us

say you'll fight for love,

promise promise promise,

I'm gonna be strong for you,

when the days get rough,

so don't ever give up,

together we can conquer the world,

I know how it feels to cry,

in the middle of the night,

nobody else by my side,

no nooo,

if you need to escape the dark,

let me be your light,

so know that you don't have to be alone in this fight,

Oh, oh, I know coz I've been there,

Oh, oh, so we ain't going nowhere, no

Don't ever give up,

on us on us on us

say you'll fight for love,

I'm gonna be strong for you

when the days get rough

so don't ever give up

together we can conquer the world.

She finishes singing and as she kisses my forehead I pray to stay in my half conscious state but I can feel myself slipping again. Please keep me alive.

A/N- Hiya! This chapters quite depressing... Just like my school at the moment XD We had a really long assembly on Monday about our options and we also found out that even though most schools don't make their kids do the year 9 SATs we have to in may!! And I realised today that yesterday was 2 weeks until my next hospital appointment- great D:

I've started the next chapter but I don't know when that'll be up (hopefully this weekend but you know what I'm like) And sorry that I didn't update half an hour ago, my friend decided to facetime me (which may also be why the editing isn't so good...)

Thanks for reading and all of the votes! last chapter the overall book votes were in the 90's!!!! Thank you!!

~Jessie xx

-forgot to put- this chapter is dedicated to J_J_HB because she always leaves really nice commments and I'm sure that she's been reading this book since the first chapter, and also dedicated to the people that have stuck with this book even though I've been rubbish at the updating!!