Petrichor

I Never Should Have Grown Up

Often I’m asked if I have any regrets,
normally I would say that I don’t.
But now as I sit in class typing away,
with little to no knowledge if I am okay -
most certainly due to constant dismay.

I reminisce my regrets because I realise I have one,
and no, I can’t go back and undo what’s been done.
I have grown up, become older,
although far from bolder.

I have become ‘wiser’ and ‘smarter’ but am I happier?

Because isn’t happiness and satisfaction the true meaning of life?
Otherwise you could become overwhelmed with strife and
potentially even go running for the knife
but this is just what we like to call
‘life’.

Life is hiding your emotions away so you don’t hurt someone else.
It is making sure that everyone else is okay except for yourself.
Because honestly, do you care about you?

No.

You care about the people that try not to let you go blue and it’s true.
Society may think that everything should be ‘tickled pink’ or else go see a shrink.
But there are hills and pit stops and emotions that make your heart stop –
whether they’re good or bad or make you sad or even mad.

And this is what you have to go through on this journey called ‘life’.

So as teenagers we try to find something – anything – to hold onto and mark as ours to give us a sense of security.
It’s like walking into the classroom and seeing “bROoKS wAS hErE”
as though it makes it their own.
Or graffiti tags marked onto brick walls so that they gain a sense of ownership and a place in this world.

So I realise that I want to make the most I can
out of this life I call mine.
I wish to be carefree
and stress less
and make more of a mess.
I wish to cry from laughter from ridiculous acts of disaster and craze.

I don’t want to grow up
for this life is too tough.
I don’t want instability
or bills or an endless maze
where I’m trying to find my way out of the drama and haze.

I want to be young again;
Have plenty of friends
And live till our wits ends.

I don’t want to grow up.
It’s too late; I’ve grown up.
I never should have grown up.

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A/N: I wrote this for school and it seems a little weird to me but oh well. Can't do much about that.