The Things That Keep Me Up At Night/ Steven Universe Theories and Stories.

Love

"Ahhhh what does it mean to love?"
"Can one say that the world is better off without love in it?"
To not have hate towards anyone? I say. That's a fools dream. This world will forever be filled with hate, the darkness in our hearts weigh far more then any amount of love?
"So why is it that love takes over?"
Because people no matter how cruel and veil they may be, people will always find something to cherish.
"What do you believe?"
I've always been a person consumed by darkness. The hatred that lies in my heart consumes me, I don't deny the fact that it's true. I am a person incapable of love. Why would I ever lie to myself about it? I believed so strongly that I was incapable of such a feeling that it made me sick to even think about it. Undeniable that's who I am. For the longest I looked at those in love and it filled me with disgust. That it was there weakness, they would eventually become slave to wanting something so stupid. Naturally this was because of the hatred that consumed me. Never having a happiness of my own, never having anyone or anything to cherish. I grew to believe that humans were cruel creatures and that we as an evolution no epidemic were hopeless. My hatred for this world grew, my hatred for these people grew, I was empty inside. I believed that the world would be better off in darkness. I believed this strongly.  Ahahaha of course....I was wrong to believe in such things.
"What do you believe in now"
You may think it's hard maybe even impossible for a person with this much hatred towards the world with this much darkness in her heart to ever think differently. But they say the best way to learn is from experience. I truly believed that there wasn't a person on earth who could touch my heart. Who could even reach it. But of course I was wrong....There was a person who lit the darkest parts of me, there was a person who saved me. This person saved me from myself. Showed me that true enough you can use hatred to your advantage but with out love, you'll be shooting mindlessly into the dark. Eventually you become slave to your hatred. That was no way to live. It took time but that person never gave up on me. Ahaha you can say that this person is someone I hate greatly. But someone I also love immensely. Ahh thank you for showing me how to live in the world of light.
As to what I believe? There can not be one without the other. There can't be love without hate dark without light. In terms we were polar opposites
I was Dark
She was Light
I was Despair
She was Hope
I was her Destruction
She was my Salvation.
But we never connected so better.
Do you see it now. What I believe? The world is still a horrible place, a scale that will never be balanced. That in this world there can't be just one. There needs to be two. I believe that when the world is balanced between love and hate then we will achieve pure peace.
I......need love.....in my heart...I need it...I've been living in the dark for to long....
Ahhhhh
Well I can...carry this for a little while longer...until I find the right person...the right person to help me carry this.
"What can love make you do?"
I've been through hell, I've been in the darkest of places so I know what it's like to feel like you could never return. I've been through peace, in the highest of places so I know what it's like to never want to leave.
I traveled between both places, so I know all to well how to walk along the middle. I...can absorb the hate of everyone. I can carry the burdens of everyone on my shoulders. Because I want them to be happy.  I don't mind  taking the hatred of everyone, because someone has to do it. And who better then me....it maybe conceded but I'm going to cleanish the world and bring it to balance one person at a time. I want everyone to be happy. Even if it means that I never will be. That's...what I've come to. Ahahaha you see that's one of the few things that love can make you do. To think that a selfish world hating punk like me, would want to show the world as much love as she could and in return take all the problems and carry them.
"What does it mean to love"
To love, is to wake up and want to protect something. It's the warm feeling you get, that you never want to lose. It's that person that'd you'd bring the world to its knees for. It's consuming all the hate so that person never sees a bad day. It's...that one person....if it the right person......that will connect with you and balance with. Where your hate and her love balance perfectly and vise versa. Where you harmonize, synchronize perfectly.
When you're ten times stronger then you would ever be without her. When your desire to protect her overpowers your desire to live. To share every day eternally with her. That's what it means to love...
Aha or at least that's what 'I' believe.
"Am I in love?"
Ahhhh, I....think that I am....this feeling I have towards her. When I talk to her my darkness is lit and my hate subsides. When I talk to her I'm lighter then air but heavier then gravity. This feeling of ecstasy I can only get from her. How she gets me higher then any drug ever could. How I spend my days and nights talking to her. Time seems to stop when I talk to her. And maybe she's reading this...or maybe she never got this far. But when you're in love you're not afraid to take risk right? So would it be wrong to just say it...say those words....if it came from me...would it mean anything?
Ahhhh no sense in denying it. I couldn't if I wanted to...I've...undoubtedly fallen...in love. I even stepped away to see if it were true...I regretted it to. Not talking to her for even a short amount of time made my heart ache.
But I can't escape the undeniable thought, that rush, that feeling...I really am...in love...ahahaha i...do i? There's no questions
It's..so weird...saying it
I'm...in love....
I...love you....
Yeah.....
You.