They're together over a month before Jacob finally asks Troye why he'll never let Jacob reciprocate any of the handjobs or blowjobs Troye's given him. Troye thinks the question would have come up a lot sooner if it weren't for Jacob's complete unwillingness to ever doing anything to make Troye uncomfortable. The last month has been amazing, it still unnerves Troye how easily their lives have intertwined. They sleep together most nights now. Jacob has had to stay after class to do a series of labs for his chemistry course but he comes over after dinner and spends the night. Tyler and Caspar are extremely enthused about it, because Jacob makes amazing breakfasts in the morning and they're just about as attached to him as Troye has become. Troye doesn't really enjoy forcing the greasy food down his throat every morning but it's worth it to see Jacob with sleep rumpled hair, foggy hazel eyes and that deliciously gruff morning voice. Luckily he gets to slip into the bathroom to purge and get ready before they head out to school together.
Troye thinks maybe it's weird that he did a load of his boyfriends laundry this evening when he got home from school, but Jacob usually just leaves his clothes from the night before behind and then they get crinkled. Troye knows Jacob has to go all the way to the laundromat to do his washing and he also remembers the time Jacob ran his wallet through the wash in the pocket of his jeans and ruined his parking pass. It was definitely worth being a little domestic for the way Jacob's eyes lit up when Troye handed him the clean pile of clothes when he came over after dinner.
To look at Jacob, Troye has to go a little cross-eyed because their faces are so close together, but Jacob is even more beautiful up close. Troye's cheek rests on Jacob's bicep, his arms are wound around Jacob's waist. The hand of Jacob's that isn't under Troye's head is carding through Troye's hair. Jacob's cheeks are still flushed from the blowjob Troye just gave him and Troye can't help but reach up and brush his thumb across the spot where his dimple hides.
"Troye?" Jacob almost whispers in the moonlight.
"Mhm?" Troye hums.
"If I ask you a question will you tell me the truth even if it isn't something you want me to know, if you think the answer isn't what I want to hear?" Jacob asks quietly.
Troye's heart picks up its pace because of the way Jacob's eyebrows are a little furrowed and his deep voice is serious. He reaches up and gently pushes his fingers through Troye'a curls, before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to his forehead. The thing is, Troye really will try to answer honestly if he can, he really hates lying to Jacob.
"Yeah. Is everything okay love?" he asks quietly, trying to sound calm despite how nervous he is.
"Yeah, of course. Just- you know I care about you right?"
"Jacob just spit it out," Troye says, because he really can't handle the suspense.
"Troye do you cut yourself?" Jacob blurts in a rush and Troye vaguely notes that it may be the quickest Jacob has ever said something.
"What?" he scoffs, instantly sitting straight up in bed, "No! Why would you even ask me that?"
Jacob sits up too, looking painfully sheepish, "I'm sorry please don't get mad. I just- if you do you can tell me, please tell me that you know that I'd never judge you."
Troye shakes his head, he's completely caught off guard, "yeah- yeah Jacob I- okay I know you wouldn't judge me- but no. No I don't cut myself," Troye stammers, "why on earth would you think that?"
Jacob reaches out and takes one of Troye's hands, looking down at it instead of meeting Troye' eyes, "you remind me a lot of my sister," he says so softly Troye doesn't almost hear, "just- she used to be like you. Any time someone would compliment her it was just so clear she didn't believe it, and like, she was so self depreciating."
