as quiet as a fire

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"introduce yourself, describe what you see and tell us what you think about yourself"

hello, my name is elissa. i have a passion for everything related to nature, space, the sky, art, and literature – which is kinda ironic since i'm, well, taking science and not literature. but that's a different story.
i think many things about myself; some positive and some negative, some rational and some irrational, some true and some false. and that is, because i don't know who myself is at this point. this is why i hate getting asked these kinds of questions, because i get at a loss of words when i need to form an understandable sentence of what i think about myself. i don't know what i think about myself, i'm not sure i even think about myself at all...
so here we go. my name is elissa – sometimes known by eli, but that's not what matters. today, i am sixteen years old, but my thoughts wander to places where those of people over sixty usually stay; the people who have gotten familiar with the pain they've tasted on their tongues and bled from their eyes for years. i am sixteen years old, but it feels like i've walked this earth at least six hundred years, and grown even older in the process. i am sixteen years old, but i belong to a place six thousand miles up from here – or maybe down, i'm not exactly sure. honestly, i'm starting to get really nervous at this point. i don't know what to say. although, whatever comes out of my mouth will be shocking to you... because you don't know me, no one truly knows me – not even my own damn self. i'd rather let you choose how you want to explore and understand instead. if you're brave enough, you can try fighting the monsters guarding the forest of my mind in order to get in, and discover whatever it is that's inside.
our journey together starts whenever you decide to turn the page.
go on.
you have my heart
and mind in your hands now.
i hope you have a safe trip.
but read at your own risk,
i can't promise you'll come out alive.