as quiet as a fire

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this is a bit old but

;
i remember when he told me the way his name slipped my tongue in the middle of the night kept him alive. somehow, it gave him strength. everytime his fingers touched my skin, i felt bombs ticking off inside my veins and fires eating at my soul. and the more i gave into him, the more his smile grew bigger –that smile that had me weak in the knees, begging on the floor. i knew he wasn't scared of commitment the way everyone else was; they all left when they found out about us, they knew they could never compete with him. he always assured me i still looked pretty whenever i cried, and the blood dripping from my arms was nothing but art in his eyes –he even took pictures of it. it seemed as if each drop that left my body brought his back to life... we had this kind of connection everyone dreamt of; we were almost the same person. i believed him, i believed every word he said. i was putty in his hands, i couldn't help it. he took over my thoughts without permission and made my insides a home of his own, i couldn't kick him out even if i tried, he was already settled down deep inside. and since that time, i knew he'd never leave me.
to anyone who's reading this, please read it again; you've got it all wrong. this isn't what you imagined, this isn't my prince charming who's coming to save me, this isn't my lover nor my friend. not even close. this is the demon living inside me; the one who visits me every single night and sleeps in my bed till the morning. this is the ghost i've been trying to run away from for so long, the one who's written the most hurtful sentences on my mirror and even worse ones on my skin, the one who's haunting my mind and spirit –this is me. but i don't know who me is anymore, nor if we're still the same person till this day. i'm not sure this is even me speaking at this point, but it doesn't matter... it's not like he and i are different anyway.

— he keeps me sad and i keep him happy,
     i heard him looking for his gun, help me.