So Far Away | Min Yoongi

40

It was Christmas time when my parents decided to have dinner together at home. This was very rare and I have never expected them to set aside one day since for the past seventeen years of my life, they always had work during the holidays.

But then again, that's not the only thing I expected not to happen.

It has been a week after the karaoke night and it has also been a week since I saw him or talk to him.

I still can't believe that I had the courage to tell him. I managed to look at him in the eye and tell him what I felt - that I liked him.

I don't expect him to like me back, I really don't. Spending time with him is always enough for me. Just sitting in silence, listening to music, feeling his presence. I'd rather sit in awkward silence with him rather than hang out with someone else at a party.

But he doesn't feel the same.

And that's fine. I never thought of being his girlfriend anyways, it was merely just a dream for me. Ever since I realized that I liked him, I knew that I was bound to get hurt. That was my reason why I didn't tell him right away.

I knew that if I told him what I feel, it'll break our friendship apart.

And after a week of not seeing each other or even talking through texts, I knew that I was right.

"Eat more, Eunji." My dad said as he wiped his mouth with a napkin. He places it back into his lap and leans over the table to take the bowl of duck slices and hands it in the air at me. Q

"I'm full, thank you." I said as I take the bowl from him, only to put it back to where he took it from.

"You only had two spoonfuls, dear." My mom chimes in, slicing the duck. "You haven't had the best appetite this past week."

"Are you okay?" My dad asks as he looks at me, his wrinkles in his forehead and cheeks more visible than normal.

"Yes," I said, pushing my chair back from the table. I stand up and bowed in front of them. "Thank you for the meal."

I turn around and proceed to walk out of the dining room until my dad's voice stopped me. "Do you want to tell us something, Eunji? Anything at all?"

I stopped from doing everything. What did he mean? I felt my whole body stiffen that it was too hard for me to turn around and face them. Do they know? Do they know everything that has happened?

And even if I tell them now, will they understand?

I just want to be alone for now. Alone with my own thoughts and nothing else. I can't keep up with any more stuff, i'm already going through something that I have never experienced before.

But what if they know?

What if they know that I was a reason of putting someone into a hospital? What if they know that I didn't take my tests? What if they know that my heart feels like it has been gripped so much that I can't breathe anymore?

Will they understand?

"No," I whispered before luckily having the ability to continue walking out of the room. As I turn to the corner from the room, I leaned my back against the wall and took a deep breath as I closed my eyes.

I want them to know, they deserve to.

But not now.

Not now when i'm still hurting.

*

"Merry Christmas, dear."

My mom handed me two presents. One of the is a medium sized rectangular box wrapped in blue wrapping paper with snow flakes printed all over it, while the other is much smaller and thinner, almost just like a plain envelope but in this case, it was red.

"Thank you," I said, accepting the gifts from her. I place the smaller present on my lap as I begin to unwrap the blue box. I find the corner where the tape was and start scratching it, then tearing the paper in the middle.

It was a cellphone. But it's not just a cellphone, it's a phone that just came out in store a few days ago. It's a phone where you can send pictures easily, and has the video call feature. I opened the box and see a white glossy phone, with a girl gasping in awe in the reflection of the screen.

"That's from me," my mom said after I take out the cellphone from the box. "It even has a dictionary feature and an internet feature. I think that will help you in college."

Oh.

So everything is still about college.

"Thank you," I repeated, trying not to think about the fact that everything's still about school. "What's this?"

I set the phone aside and take the red envelope from my lap. It didn't have any writing or design in it, it was just red.

"That's from your dad." My mom half smiles as I tear the edge of the envelope. There's a piece of paper inside that felt cold against my fingers.

I slip two of my fingers and slide it out of the envelope. It's much simpler than I thought. It's a piece of blank paper with four words written on it.

You'll find out soon.

"Merry Christmas again, baby." My mom pulls me close and kisses the side of my head, just right at my hair.

"Wait, what is this about?" I ask her as I pulled away, eagerness in my voice.

She looks back at me as she stands up and smiles gently at me. "You'll find out soon."

*

Yuri ^-^
Eunjiiiiiii~ How are you?
sent @ 11:35 pm

Hey Yuri :) I'm... fine.
sent @ 11:36 pm

Yuri ^-^
... well.
sent @ 11:35 pm

Yuri ^-^
We have a very important
class meeting on the 31st,
11pm at the school rooftop :)
sent @ 11:39 pm

What? No one told me
about it. @-@
sent @ 11:42 pm

Yuri ^-^
I know, I just found out
today too. But it's very important.
sent @ 11:45 pm

Yuri ^-^
If you don't go, you're
not going to be able to
graduate.
sent @ 11:45 pm

What is it going to
be about?
sent @ 11:49 pm

Yuri ^-^
I don't know.
Just come, alright?
sent @ 11:50 pm

Alright. I'll see
you there. ^-^
sent @ 11:52 pm

Yuri?
sent @ 11:59 pm

You probably fell asleep.
Goodnight~
sent @ 12:07 pm