So Far Away | Min Yoongi

37.0

He's not here.

The talent show has ended and he's not here.

I heard from his friends a while ago that he was dismissed from the hospital today. But why isn't he here? Why isn't he performing at the talent show like he told me?

Why did he practice and perform in front of Yuri and I if he weren't going to show everyone else how talented he is? Everyone should know what he's capable of. This was the perfect chance to show people his hidden gift.

And I took it away from him.

It's my fault again, isn't it?

He might be dismissed from the hospital but that didn't mean that he was ready to perform and exert energy in anything he does. I take his opportunity away from him.

Why am I even here?

Why am I trying to have fun and walk around these Christmas lanterns and lights filled hallways like nothing is wrong? How can I even smile and let Yuri know that i'm fine? How can I lie to her and say I don't know anything about his absence? How can I even try to be happy?

I want to see him.

I really want to see him.

But he doesn't.

He asked you himself, Eunji. Stay away from him.

You bring nothing but trouble to him. Nothing but problems.

I need to go back home. I can't stay here and pretend like everything's alright. I can't. Not when my mind's full of thoughts about him. Not when all I can think about is him suffering just because of a mere person like me.

I began to run as I let go of Yuri's arm. She stood in front of a table filled with snacks for sale. Students continue to pass by us, entering classrooms to classrooms with different themes and booths.

"Eunji-ah!" She runs after me, and soon enough I felt her grip on my shoulders. "Where do you think you're going?"

"I'm going home." I said, keeping my eyes away from her. "I... forgot something."

I didn't care what any lie I could come up with. Anything that can make me out of here is fine. Just as long as it would work. I'm not deserving enough to be enjoying this jolly place.

She didn't answer right away. But instead she just looked at me and took a deep breath. A deep breath that said something like she understands me. That she knows everything, but choose to keep quiet about it.

"Be careful," she says, letting go of my shoulder. "But please come back for the karaoke party later."

"I can't," I say right away, shaking my head. "I'm...I-I-I'm go-"

"He would want you to show your talent just like you want him to show his." She whispers, her voice making me feel pressure building up in my own eyes. "Don't be too hard on yourself."
I pulled her in a tight hug, and before I know it, my eyes started to water.

"I'll be there."