The Star in Our Faults

Chapter 1

I was lying on a bed in the hospital. Mom was sitting on a stool beside me, clasping my hand. Dad was still at work as he'd been on night shift, and I don't know if he'd been informed that I was in the hospital.

I was trying to get some sleep but I was too nervous. The doctors had done all sorts of tests to me to check my blood, my heart rate and more.

Eventually a doctor I had never seen before came through. He was about 30 with light brown hair. Where was my usual cancer doctor? Oh god, maybe this was so serious that it was a completely new doctor. Oh god, oh god, oh god...

"Hello Hazel, hello Mrs. Lancaster. I am Dr. Green," he confidently said to us with a smile on his face. "I have great news!"

I stared at him, puzzled. Great news? At first I thought he said grave news and was going to tell me I was about to die or something. But he wouldn't have a grin if he was going to tell me I was going to die. Maybe my cancer had cleared up. Unlikely. The doctors told me from the start, that stage 4 thyroid cancer with metastasis in the lungs was not curable.

"We have looked at the test results, and studied them closely," Dr. Green continued.

"Now we are certain. Hazel is pregnant." he finished.

Pregnant? No way. I couldn't be. I refused to accept it. I took a glance under my bed covers to see if my stomach had swelled. No, it was just the same as always.

Mom had her face in her hands. Her shoulders were shaking uncontrollably so I guessed she was crying.

"Obviously we're a bit worried about your...um...condition during pregnancy." said Dr. Green.

By condition, he obviously meant my cancer. 

"So we might consider a section when the birth comes, to make sure your lungs aren't working too hard. I will perform the operation, if it happens. If you have any more questions please do not hesitate to consult me or your midwife." Dr. Green smiled then walked out of the room.

I was still in shock. Mom stopped crying and looked at me. Mascara was ruining down her face and her hair was a mess.

"How?" she asked.

It suddenly dawned on me, how this had happened. "Amsterdam. W-With Augustus." I was crying now. "But I didn't realise! I didn't think! I just-" I broke down sobbing.

I hadn't actually cried in a while. After Augustus died, I sobbed for a solid week. But after that the sadness kind of numbed everything. I felt like everything was blurry and in slow motion. I wasn't even able to cry. But now I could see and feel everything clearly again. Augustus' death felt fresh in my mind.

Mom reached over and hugged me. "Sweetie it's okay. It'll be okay." I guess at first she was mad. Well, a parent would be if their teenage daughter just got pregnant. She pulled out of the hug and looked at me smiling. "We're going to have a new baby in the family!"

I laughed and cried at the same time. It was a weird feeling. I was laughing for the joy, the excitement of being pregnant. I could a mother! But I was crying because this baby would have no father.

Five minutes later my dad ran in.

"What's wrong? What happened!" he exclaimed, looking seriously worried.

"I'm pregnant!" I announced grinning. I wasn't upset now, just happy.

Dad burst into happy tears. "That's amazing sweetheart!"

All three of us enjoyed a happy hug.

Later, when we were driving home, I asked if I could go to Augustus' grave.

"Sure sweetie, we'll drop you off there. Will you be long?"

I shook my head. Walking towards the grave, I felt at peace. The car was waiting just out of sight behind the church. I hadn't been here since the funeral. It looked beautiful, although the tombstone hasn't been put in yet.

"Um, hey Augustus." It felt awkward talking to nothing. "I don't know if you can here me, but I hope you can. Just thought I should tell you...I'm pregnant. With your child." I smiled too myself. "I know it's a big shock isn't it. I just felt ill this morning so mom rushed me too hospital. I think they're okay with it. My parents. I still need to talk to your mom and dad. You would've been an amazing dad and I'm sorry you won't be here to see your baby grow up." A tear trickled down my check. "See you soon."

And with that I turned away and walked to the car, not looking back.

*Authors Note added 7 months later*
Going back and reading this makes me realise how badly Hazel's dad reacts to the news of her being pregnant. Sorry about that! I don't want to change it now though because it's a part of the story, but yeah no more hate please cause I do realise my mistake in writing the reaction. Some of the comments are quite funny though XD