The Star in Our Faults

Chapter 17

When I returned to Anna's school, which was only 5 minutes by car, she was so excited to see me. All the children rushed through the door and ran to give their parents a hug. Anna was very careful with me and made sure not to accidentally knock my breathing tube out of place.

When we were in the car, she babbled on non stop, "Mommy, school was really fun and I made friends with this really nice girl called Sienna and she sits next to me and we played together and we did some learning and I think I'm already a teeny, tiny bit smarter already!"

Anna took a really deep breath, then sighed while I smiled fondly.

"Did you really enjoy it then?" I asked, knowing the answer already.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!" she giggled.

So we got into a routine. Every weekday I would drop Anna off at preschool, go to the bookshop to work for 3 hours, then pick up her up again at 12:30. We would then eat a quick lunch at home and read books, or watch tv at the house. Sometimes we would even visit my Mom and Dad.

The weekends were special though. Me and Anna would trail around the park or watch a movie together. I no longer got weird stares from people, but fond smiles when they saw me holding hands with Anna.

I was sometimes worried that Anna had more fun at school then she did at home. I tried to make my time with her extra special, but, life goes on.

Or doesn't.

A few weeks after Anna started preschool, I got a pounding migraine. It was a Friday, 9:45am, and I was working in the bookstore.

I was sitting behind the counter on a stool. I liked it there. The counter hid my oxygen tank so the only visible signs of my cancer was the clear tube running behind my ears, but strangers didn't really pay much attention to my face.

I was due to have my lungs drained on Saturday, so Anna was scheduled to stay at my parents house on Friday and Saturday night, then I would pick her up late Sunday morning. Mom was picking up Anna from preschool anyway.

The pain got worse. My hands started aching and I felt my eyes drooping. I stumbled out from behind the counter, dragging the oxygen container in my wake.

"Hey," I rasped to one of my colleagues, Kayleigh who had an athletic body, tanned skin and blond wavy hair. Basically the opposite to me. "Can you cover for me? I think I have a bug coming on or something." I lied.

"Sure," laughed Kayleigh in her cheery Canadian accent. "You sure you're okay?"

I gave her a weak thumbs up, then staggered out the bookshop towards the car. The pain made it difficult to move, let alone drive. I needed to get to the hospital before I passed out...or worse.

I gripped the steering wheel, my knuckles turning white. Spots danced in my eyes. I didn't pay attention to the road, I just made sure I kept breathing.

I finally pulled up at the hospital. I surged towards the entrance. I got inside, and motioned towards the receptionist. She saw I was in trouble and pressed the green button that called a doctor. I collapsed on the floor, and tried to keep my eyes open. My last image was a man in a white cost meaning over me.

I woke in a hospital bed, a wad of pillows propping me up. I was wearing my own clothes, as supposed to the dreaded hospital gown, so it couldn't be that serious. An unfamiliar doctor was beside me.

"Hi," he said. "You passed out due to your lungs swimming in liquid, but you're okay. You were due for a lung draining tomorrow, but it's an easy procedure so we'll just go through with it now, as we don't want any more fainting."

Just as I suspected. Nothing was wrong. About an hour later, I was dosed with anaesthetic, ready for the draining of my lungs. I fell asleep dreaming of seeing Anna once I got out of hospital.

As soon as I woke up, I knew something was wrong. There was a nervous tension in the air. Usually I felt good after my lungs were drained, as it was less pressure on my body, but now my throat felt raw and dry, my insides felt like they were on fire. I called a doctor.

"What's wrong?" I asked nervously.

"Well, erm, Hazel, to put it the short way..." said the young, geeky doctor with huge glasses.

"...your cancer has spread,"

It's funny how your whole world can come crashing down in a split second and yet you don't feel any sadness or anger. You don't feel anything really, just numbness.

"How is this possible?" I gulped.

"The cancer has spread into your lymph nodes. There is a drug that we can use, called Hypoderimas, but it's risky."

"In what way is it risky?" I asked determinedly.

I was going to do anything to live. Anna needed me.

"Well it is very strong, very powerful. It will try and kill all the multiplying cancer cells. It won't kill all the cells, just enough so your lymph nodes aren't contaminated anymore. Then, after that, there will be a big operation to try an remove the entire theriod. That's when we'll also be able to tell if your cancer in the lymph nodes had disappeared."

"Side affects?" I said.

"Tiredness and swelling of the feet. You won't be able to stay on your feet for very long long, you're probably going to have to use a wheelchair."

"How long will I have to take the Hypoderamis?"

"Well, you will take the drug in pills. Once a day for a few months or so. You'll be able to take all your treatment from home, and after you finish taking the Hypoderimas, you will have your operation in the hospital. After that, you will hopefully have no more cancer in your lymph nodes."

I nodded and let the information sink in. I had to take this Hypoderimas drug, or else I would die, and dying is not an option. I realised how difficult this would be though. I was going to have to try and care for a young child in a wheelchair. How would she get to and from school? I obviously couldn't drive with a wheelchair.

I was scared the authorities would declare me an unfit mother and take Anna away from me.

I was discharged from hospital late on Saturday evening. I didn't pick up Anna though, I needed sometime to think.

Authors Note: Took me a really long time to update sorry!

This chapter is kind of confusing but basically Hazel's cancer has spread, so she's taking a drug to try kill it, and this will result in tiredness and swelling feet so she's going to have to be in a wheel chair.

If you want to tell me something or ask me a question in private, or you want to get a reply fast, then please instant message me as apposed to commenting. I'll get it a lot faster.

If you want to make me a cover for this story, please do, I think it needs a new look.

Thank you!(: