The Star in Our Faults

Chapter 19

"What do you mean it's your daddy?" I asked Anna, trying to keep my voice steady.

"It's my daddy," replied Anna, puzzled.

I nervously laughed, "No Anna, sweetie, you don't have a daddy."

Anna nodded furiously, "Yes, Yes I do! Sienna, my friend, was talking about her daddy and how he is really funny and nice. Then she asked me 'what is your daddy like' and I said 'I don't have a daddy'"

"Then Sienna said that everybody has a daddy, and I got really confused because I only have a mommy," continued Anna. "So I talked to Miss Paisley and she said that everybody has a daddy, even if he's not there anymore."

"So I looked all over the house for my daddy, I even crawled right down to the bottom of your bed, but I couldn't find him anywhere." Anna's sad voice made my heart brake.

I leaned over the side of my wheelchair and hugged Anna tightly. I was still too emotional to speak. Anna was upset to, but I don't think she understood the full concept of the situation. A few minutes passed, then Anna asked the dreaded question.

"Where is my daddy then?"

I pulled away from our hug and sighed. I needed to make this is simple and easy as possible.

"Well, Anna, your daddy is up there," I announced pointing up to the sky out of the window.

Anna rushed to the window and stared up into the blue sky.

"All the way up there?" gasped Anna, astonished. "Is he living on a cloud?"

"Something like that," I replied, smiling secretly to myself.

"That's a very long way away. How did he get up there?" asked Anna.

"Well, he had what I have,"

"Cancer?" asked Anna.

"Yeah, he had cancer."

I wheeled into my room, and Anna followed me. I had a picture of me and Augustus in a photo frame next to my bedside table. It was when we were in front of the Anne Frank house in Amsterdam.

"Here's a picture of me and your daddy," I said while I handed Anna the photo. "His name was Augustus. Augustus Waters, just like your surname."

Anna studied the photo for a while and then exclaimed, "He looks like me!"

It was true. Anna had Augustus' slightly wavy hair, although her's was a couple of shades lighter. They also had similar blue eyes, and the same gorgeous smile that was to big for their faces.

I smiled, "Yeah he does, doesn't he? Anyway, Augustus' cancer took him away from this world..." I had tears in my eyes but I blinked them back as I didn't want Anna to see me cry.

"Mommy, your cancer won't take you away will it?" asked Anna, her eyes wide with worry.

"No, I'm staying right here with you, forever." I replied, my voice shaking a bit.

I should've told her then and there that someday I was going to die, no matter what. Something deep in my mind stopped me though. I guess I just didn't want to hurt my child.

It was hard getting used to a wheelchair. I obviously couldn't drive Anna to and from her pre school anymore, so Mom or Dad picked her up in the morning, took her to school, then dropped her off back here after.

In the short 3 hours while Anna was at school, I tried to do the shopping. I would wheel myself to the shops. It used to only take around ten minutes for me to get there but now it took over half an hour. I awkwardly trundled around the supermarket while I received sympathetic looks from people, which infuriated me. I was too embarrassed to ask anybody to get me stuff from the high shelves so I usually didn't come back with everything I needed.

When Mom dropped off Anna, she usually had a huge carrier bag of food anyway. Anna was always laughing around Mom, but when she was alone in the house with me she was very quiet. I think she was scared of the wheelchair, which upset me, but who could blame her. She was only 3 years old.

I sometimes caught Anna looking at pictures of Augustus. She would stare at the one on my bedside table for ages, but I also gave her a few loose prints of me and him to look at whenever she wanted. She always mumbled to herself while looking at the pictures. I wondered if she was playing imaginary games with Augustus.

My surgery was due soon. That was when I would find out if the treatment had worked. I would find out if my cancer had disappeared from my lymph nodes.

To be honest, I wasn't feeling very positive about my results. I didn't think the treatment had worked as I had a permanent sore head and I always started coughing for no apparent reason. I didn't tell my Mom this though, she would only worry.

About a week before my surgery, when Mom had dropped off Anna at home after her school, Isaac came over. I heard a knock on the door and when I opened it I saw Isaac with his arm around his Mom's shoulder.

"Oh, hey guys," I said, surprised.

"Hazel dear, is it okay if Isaac stays here? He really wanted to visit you and I've got to run some errands." said his Mom.

"Sure, sure, come in!" I smiled.

Isaac's Mom guided him to the sofa and helped him sit down. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, tapped my shoulder then scurried out the door. I wheeled myself so I was opposite Isaac on the couch. Anna rushed into the sitting room when she heard voices.

"Uncle Isaac!" laughed Anna, while she jumped on Isaac, nearly winding him.

But Isaac smiled through the pain and started stabbing at Anna, trying to tickle her. It couldn't of been funny but Anna was in such a good mood she laughed anyway. Anna had always insisted on calling him 'uncle Isaac' and Isaac himself encouraged it. They were very close.

"Who's my favourite god-daughter?" laughed Isaac.

"Your only god-daughter," I muttered under my breath but I was careful to not let Isaac or Anna hear.

"Me, me, me, me!" squealed Anna. "Hey Isaac guess what I look like?"

"Anna!" I scolded, tapping her lightly on the head for being so inconsiderate of Isaacs blindness, but he just laughed.

"Oh I don't know Anna, do you have huge green feet?" said Isaac, pretending to feel for Anna's feet.

"No!" giggled Anna.

"Do you have lots of big warts on the end of your nose?"

"No," she laughed.

Isaac patiently played this game for a while with Anna, while I relaxed and read my book.

I looked at the way they were joking and laughing, and it reminded me of how Augustus and Isaac had capered around together.

I stared at Anna, who was now playing by herself on the floor.

"I miss him," I said absently to myself, but Isaac heard.

"Me too," sighed Isaac. He then smiled awkwardly at me, "But the world is not a wish granting factory, or so I've been told."

I looked at Isaac for a while, then burst into laughter. Isaac started giggling too. Anna looked up at us and also started laughing, even though she didn't know what was funny.

Authors Note: Kind of happy ending to this chapter yay. So yeah sorry I took so long to update just been really busy.

Thank you to @jazzastagram for making me this new cover. What do you guys think? Please comment!

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