The Star in Our Faults

Chapter 20

I lay on a hospital bed, yet again. It was funny how many times I'd been here, how many hospital beds I'd slept on. How many hospital gowns I have worn and how many different doctors and nurses I have had over the years.

Anna was sitting on the foot of my bed, playing with a couple of plastic figures. She happily muttered under her breath to herself, unaware of what was about to happen to me.

Usually before an operation, my parents would try and cheer me up. Before an operation or procedure, my family was normally quite happy because it meant that if the operation worked, I would feel and look a lot better.

Mom was still upset with me for not talking to her earlier about my cancer spreading and I don't think dad knew what to say.

Eventually, after a few hours of awkward silence, a couple of nurses wheeled my bed into the operating room. I turned onto my side, and right before I left, I caught Mom staring straight into my eyes.

The operating room was bare and bright white. With the help of nurses, I was lifted onto the operating table, as I still couldn't use my legs. I was dosed with the familiar drug of anaesthetic, and started counting down from ten. I knew this drill too well.

"When you wake up Hazel, you are going to be feeling much better, as long as this operation works. Which it will do." said one doctor, his voice muffled, through a safety mask.

"Note so sure about that..." I muttered, but I couldn't finish my sentence.

I felt my speech starting to slur and my eyes closing. My last image was of doctors waiting eagerly to tear me open.

When I awoke, I was a hospital room. Mom and Dad were sitting in orange plastic chairs and Anna was slumped, asleep, over my father.

I opened my eyes a little further and sat up in my bed. I tried to speak but my throat was still sore after the operation, so my voice came out croaky and inaudible.

"Hi honey, it's late and Anna's tired so we're going to come back and see you in the morning. Get better soon." said Dad.

He picked up Anna and placed her over his shoulder, then kissed me lightly on the forehead. Mom followed him quickly, not speaking but giving me a fast hug. Once they all left, I fell asleep almost straight away as I was exhausted after the operation.

When I opened my eyes, I checked the clock in the bedside table. It was 7:00am. I pressed the little red button to call for a nurse and almost immediately one appeared in my room.

"Hello Hazel," said the nurse cheerfully, as she refilled the water that was next to me.

"Hi, um, could I speak to a doctor about my operation results please?" I asked.

"Sure, sweetie, I'll just get Dr. Jim for you," sang the nurse.

"Thanks, uh," I checked the nurse's name tag. "Thanks Amelia."

The nurse, named Amelia, bubbled around my room as she checked all my heart monitors, brain scans and God knows what else.

Soon after she left, Dr. Jim appeared. He was wearing a pale overall and his grey spectacles dangled on his nose.

"Hello Miss Lancaster. Your looking very lovely this morning." he spoke.

I don't know what Dr. Jim's definition of lovely was, but I was sweaty, coughing because of a cold and hadn't washed in days. Just lovely.

"So you were the Doctor in charge of my operation?" I asked.

"Correct," replied Dr. Jim as he nodded his head furiously, his glasses balanced precariously on the tip of his nose.

"Can you tell me anything about it?"

The Doctor suddenly bustled out of the room and along the hall.

"Rude," I muttered under my breath.

He then returned with a large red folder in his hands, marked with my name. The folder was so thick he could barley hold it in his own two hands.

"Wow..." I muttered. "That's a load of medical information about me."

As Dr. Jim was flicking through the pages, he secretly smirked at me.

"Hazel, this is only the folder on your operations." he grinned.

"Jesus," I muttered.

Finally he got to the back of the folder which had information on my latest operation.

"So, Hazel," he said. "The operation went well but we can't tell the results just yet. We have to first send your x-x-rays and scans down to a specialist science lab, get them to check it, then they will send it back here. Overall it will take a couple of weeks."

"Okay so when will I be discharged from the Hospital? This afternoon or tomorrow?" I asked.

Dr. Jim looked shiftily at me, "Well uh Hazel we actually want to keep you here for a couple of weeks. Just till your operation results come back."

"What!" I cried. "A couple of weeks? My child who's starting kindergarten soon and I have a job!"

"It's just we want to keep an eye on you till the results come back. Although we think the operation went well, we don't know for sure. You don't want to collapse at home, while looking after Anna, now do you?" he spoke sincerely.

That shut me up.

"We need to monitor your body anyway as we're going to stop your suply of Hypoderimas." said Dr. Jim.

"But what if I still have cancer?" I protested. "If you stop the drug, and the cancer is still in my lymph nodes, it might spread!"

"Yes but if the cancer has left your lymph nodes, which we think is extremely likely, then it would be too risky to give you the Hypoderimas. A drug that strong would probably kill you in a week."

"Oh," I gulped.

"So we'll help your body learn to adjust to life without Hypoderimas."

I just nodded and sighed. The doctor left the room, and I slumped back down into my bed. Inside my body I was screaming for the frustration of not knowing if the cancer was still inside my lymph nodes, but on the outside I just appeared slightly bored.

When Mom and Anna visited later, I explained how she was going to have to take care of Anna for a few weeks.

"Sure, okay honey," said Mom.

At least we were on speaking terms. That night, I changed into my own pyjamas and fell asleep in the uncomfortable hospital bed.

I actually hadn't been to the hospital in a while (not counting my regular lung-drainings), before my operation. Everyone, including me, though I was getting better. There was always a little voice in my head though, about how some day this cancer was going to win the battle. I had tried to ignore the voice for years, but now it seemed to control me.

Authors Note: So here is the actual chapter 20! And if you saw that stupid joke chapter, then I was hacked. Sorry. It wasn't my fault. (Thank you to people who stuck up for me, you know who you are). Some people actually thought it was me who wrote that chapter because I had given up on this story. I would never do that. This story means a lot to me.

SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO UPDATE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE SOONER I PROMISE!

So I said I was going to finish this story by the TFiOS movie came out (June 6th). Obviously this isn't going to happen haha.

ALSO I HIT 100K OMG AND NOW IM AT 135K OMG OMG OMG

Message me if you have an idea on what should happen next or in future chapters! Even if you think it's stupid or bad, I'm open to all ideas!

Love you all!