The Star in Our Faults

Chapter 18

At first the medication did nothing to me. I didn't know if this was a good thing or a bad thing. The hospital had given me a wheelchair, but I had it folded up in the back of a closet.

My parents knew nothing about my cancer spreading. They just thought I'd had my routine lung draining. I had to tell Mom eventually though, I couldn't really explain my new wheelchair in any other way.

The swelling started a couple of weeks after I had started taking the medication. I woke up in bed with surprisingly heavy feet, it took me a while to lift them off of the mattress. It took me ages to get dressed, which made Anna late for school.

In the car, Anna was crying and screaming in the seat next to me, "Mommy I can't believe you made us late! I don't want to be late! I'll get trouble and I don't want to be bad!"

I didn't reply to her, I couldn't reply to her. Every time I pushed down on the accelerate, my foot hurt even more. I didn't tell Anna though, she was only 3 years old and would worry.

We finally pulled into the school car park, 10 minutes late. Anna jumped out of the car and waited for me to get out, but I couldn't.

"Mommy! Come on!" whined Anna.

"Go, Anna, just quickly run inside." I said.

I knew I wouldn't be able to walk into Anna's school without collapsing in exhaustion and pain.

Without a second thought, Anna rushed towards the school door. Her dirty blonde hair fanned out behind her and her light pink school bag jumped up and down on her back.

I had to stay in the car park for a while, catching my breath. I then made the journey home driving about 10mph. I finally collapsed into my bed, and lay there panting. I knew I couldn't go into work, so I called in sick.

I realised how much effort it was to take Anna to school and back. A thing that had been so easy days ago, was now a hard task.

After a while I got off of my bed, which took a lot of time and effort. I slowly made my way towards the old closet and rolled my wheelchair out.

It looked huge. People were going to stare at me, even more then they already did. I awkwardly sat myself on the cold metal seat. There was a special holder in the wheelchair for my oxygen tank, which I thought was very convenient of the hospital.

When I tried to push the wheels of the wheelchair, I couldn't get anywhere. I was too tired and unfit to push my own body weight. Eventually I got myself to move a bit, but even that movement left me panting and gasping for air. I saw the time on my watch, reached into my pocket and grabbed my phone, then called Mom.

"Hey Mom? It's Hazel," I said into my mobile.

"Hiya sweetie," said Mom.

"I was wondering if you could pick up Anna from her preschool. It finishes in 15 minutes. Then could she have tea at yours and you could drop her back here around 6?"

"Sure Hazel, but why? You okay?" Moms voice turned nervous.

I forced a laugh, "Fine, Mom! Just coming along with a cold thing-"

"You sure you okay?"

"Yes!" I nearly shouted.

"Okay dear, see you at 6," said Mom, then hung up.

I don't know why I lied to Mom. I couldn't bare to tell her I was in a wheelchair I suppose, but it just about gave Mom a heart attack when I answered the door.

At 6pm, my doorbell rang. I mustered enough strength to wheel to the door and reached for the handle to open it.

When Mom saw me, her mouth fell open. She had a handbag over her shoulder and was holding Anna's hand.