I'd come for you

Chapter 1: PAST SHAPES PRESENT

When we are kids, we don't think before we act. We act on instinct without worrying about its outcomes.

And since childhood, that is what is taught to us. And that is how a life is lived happily-without giving a damn about what others think about you.

But some people learn the hard way. It's embarrassing enough to say that I was among them. Well, I like to say that I learn from experience. And it's no secret to you that life has a hard way of teaching lessons. It examines first, then the lesson is taught with a hard blow!

In elementary school, I was a shy and immature girl. Well, who isn't? But kindly note the SHY word! It was hard for me to socialise among others.
Some trait I inherited from my father.
But I wasn't the only one of my kind. There were others who were into themselves. Hence, hoping for not being shoved by rude comments or rejection, I chose the safe option to befriend them. Something is better than nothing, right?

But it wasn't that great. I mean I felt like I am missing something behind.

Reaching puberty, I had noticed there were groups of different people.

Some were teachers tail-who got straight A's. Well who wouldn't want to befriend them?

Some were the mystery ones-they were the ones who had a mysterious personality on the inside, though they didn't fail to make the whole population laugh with their indistinguishable sense of humour. They were cool. And I definitely wanted to know more about them. They were intriguing to me.

Some had the misconception of spotlight following them like their own shadow in the whole school. They were the popular ones and bitchy I might add.

And the others who didn't fit into any of this were the lazy ones. Well, you can call them misfits too. But I prefer lazy!

They refused to get down in the competition with others. They knew they were imperfect, but refused to improve themselves. Safe to say, they were aimless. They had talents, but they let their fear get better of them which only pushed them down to the average level. 

And I hate to break it to you, but I was in this category. It hurts to know how much your company defines you. Actually, I didn't consider myself in this group either. I was frustrated with no events in my life. I wanted to do something. I wanted to discover myself. 

I wasn't this way the whole teenage life.
Entering college, I had decided that I've had enough of whatever shit was going on in my uneventful and boring life. Breaking all the barriers keeping me from being myself, I said to myself, "what have I got to lose?"

And I rocked. I was amazing then. I interacted with people without giving a shit to what they might think of me. And it's safe to say that I was great n had made friends. Little did I know it would work out this great, I would have tried it long long ago.  I was having fun. My group consisted of girls-PK, Dhwani, Pooja, Monica, Callista and boys-Harsh, Avinash. PK was the first friend of mine. She was bubbly and confident. She noticed me and immediately we clicked.

Then there was Dhwani. She was a buddy accompanying me from home to class. We were practically together, whole day-while we were away from home. She used to talk a lot, about her family, her past life. And I discovered I was a good listener.

Monica and Callista were like me and Dhwani-buddies with benefits. We accompanied each other so we don't have to walk alone.

Monica was the daredevil and a sweetheart.

Callista received attention from the whole male population in our class. She wasn't bitchy though-and here I think I might've spoken too early. She enjoyed the attention and was as venomous as snake, behind the back.

Avinash was THE STUD. A sweetheart with respect for elders and unconditional love for family. He had a best friend since childhood too. And not to forget, he scored straight A's and was so down to earth. And this wasn't the only thing that had me. He always used to smile and make people laugh. He was almost perfect in every way. He even played sports-badminton in particular.

Harsh on the other hand was a nerd, like me. He was funny too.

As the days past by, i got to know Dhwani more. She was a good friend. She encouraged me to speak about my life, my problems. Something I've never done before. And honestly, it was hard for me. I started voicing out my problems, only to find myself thinking more about it, dampening my mood.

Later I found that she always had only problems to discuss with me. It was frustrating. I wanted to tell her to keep it to herself, that I have nothing to do with them. But I didn't have the will to tell her off. So, I did what smart people do. I shut her out.

I wanted to have fun man! Who doesn't have problems? Deal with it and get over it. Life is fun. And back to point one, I stopped sharing my life with her or anyone. I didn't mind.

PK and I became closer. We hung out. Avinash, Monica, callista, harsh and Avinash met us only at class. Avinash, callista and Monica became closer.

Harsh used to crack jokes and all, but I guess even he found company of boys for him. He was a brother figure to me. His respect for me was different. He always had my back, and was a second away from me whenever I had issues in class.

That doesn't mean I shared my life stories with him. Nope! Nada! Don't want that shit.

I noticed Harsh had a minuscule crush on PK, with the way he used to look at her and listen to her with undivided attention. This was first year.

Around second year, we all began to drift away. Dhwani had a new group of girlfriends for her, and cut us off completely.

It was I and PK who occasionally used to hung out then. Avinash and callista broke up. They weren't serious though, were the rumours.

Callista's persona began to degrade as a slut. And Avinash had enough brains to take care of the situation. And he did take care of it. He made Callista realise in the nicest way possible, whatever shit she was doing, much to his dismay-she refused to understand.

Well, Monica and Avinash, including his best friend, had a group of their own. Me and PK hung out with them, until it was difficult for one of us to manage education with friends.

I had made new friends-PN, Malavika and Pratyaksha. I hit it off with them.

Further ahead, I and PN became closer. She was easy going and funny and loved to be happy-just like me. She had problems, but she didn't let it affect her.

It was about time I realised that I had friends before, but never the ones who had an independent mind of their own.

Second year was the worst year-was the understatement of the century. I had been through hell and it was the vacation after second year that I decided, it was enough.

Somewhere in between second year I somehow managed to get addicted to wattpad-fiction. It was PN and I both who suffered. We both ruined our academics due to that.

The break was hell cause our results were out. PN and I both surviving our share of hell that we deserved.

Our parents were furious at us and when we didn't break, they did everything to make us feel like shit. Good thing? PN and I were closer than we were ever before. And I in the meantime, learned to share my issues with her too.

And the thing that had me , was that she was casual towards it-just like me. We both knew we are going on to get out of this misery, we just needed time. She was patient-just like me.

Long story short, my past sucked! But it has shaped me to be the person I am now.

Your past doesn't define you, it just shapes you to face new hurdles in your life.

Well, in degree college, the only old face is PN. We got accepted in same university. And Indirectly, she had pulled me out of my misery.

I still had time before I start a new chapter of my life, before I start college. I want to do something eventful. Like a daredevil, I want to take risk. I want to see how far I can go. And that's exactly what I did!