her remedy

18

With a hand on my cheek, Simon leans in and gently kisses me, being careful to not mess up my makeup.

He pulls away and says, "I'm so proud of you and I know you'll win it all tonight."

"Even if I don't win anything, I'm still bringing the biggest prize home." I say, squeezing his hand.

He smiles and his eyes glimmer like they always do when he's happy.

"Good luck, baby. I'll see you inside."

"Ok, bye, love you!" I say, stepping out of the car and onto the unfamiliar and chaotic red carpet.

I look down at my black dress and immediately feel beautiful. I love this dress, and Michael did a great job on my makeup. I look pretty good, if I do say so myself.

Cameras flash and people yell at me to turn to my side or put my hand on my hip, but most of the time I just do what feels right to me.

After I get through the worst part of this awards show, I hurry to my seat and find Simon patiently waiting.

"How did it go?" He asks, resting his arm around me.

"Ehhh." I say, moving a bit closer to him.

A woman photographer asks if she can take our picture together. We both say yes, and as she snaps the picture, I realize this is the first relationship I've gone public with. That meant I believed Simon would be with me for a while. And that thought alone made the entire night a dream, win or lose.

*

The rest of the evening becomes a blur of tears and laughs. I heard my name for an award and I laughed every time. There's no way I actually won all six.

No way.

The most nerve-wracking moment of the entire night was my performance.

Simon squeezed my hand and said, "You're going to be amazing, baby."

I bite my lip and thank him. Then I stand and walk backstage to change my dress and warmup.

My heart pounds and I nervously walk to the side of the stage, ready to sing my heart out for the first time since my surgery.

I start the song a cappella, and the moment I open my mouth and sing the first note, every nerve disappears.

I think about the fact that Alex might be watching and I change my lyrics to "you could have had this all." He needs to know what he has lost.

At the end, I can't help myself from cackling. This whole night is so surreal. And it's just going to get better from here.

I receive a standing ovation from celebrities I was sure I would ever only see on posters. And now they are standing and clapping for me.

This night has been more than a dream come true.

*

Simon closes the hotel room door behind us and pulls me in for a tight hug. I rest my head against his shoulder, crying.

Not because I'm sad, but because I've reached a level of happiness that I didn't even know was possible.

After he rubs my back reassuringly for a while, I calm down and connect my lips with his.

"I'm so proud of you. Beyond proud, actually. And you look so beautiful. You make me happier than I ever thought I could be." He says in a soft tone.

I look into his eyes, saying more than words could. After a pause, I say, "I love you."

He connects our lips passionately, then breaks away and says, "I love you too."

"Show me." I say, then I press my lips back onto his.