All I know is we said hello
And your eyes looking like coming home
All I know is a simple name
And everything has changed
For this day, we talked but only online. We don't talk even if we see each other in person. Yesterday in school, there was this announcement and we were settled on the floor outside the classrooms which is the corridors. Him and I were close to each other. 2 people between us.
But it was fine with me. I always wanted to be this close to him but I haven't got the courage to do so even if everyday, I got the chance to do it. So I cherished that moment. Every minute and every second. I steal glances at him and somehow I see him look in my direction in my peripheral view. I talk to the people between us, just taking the chance to look at you quickly.
Then when the people between us were staring into space, I stare at him and see him looking down on the ground. I then quickly look away when he moved a bit. Scared to catch me looking at him.
And it all ended when the announcement was done. He turned his back at me and proceeded playing chess with his friends. I stood up and walked away.
Today, he said he's got fever. I said that he'd get well soon. He just laughed and we carried on with the conversation. We talked not in an awkward way but in a chill way. He never knew what was on my mind. I wanted to be there with him and take care of him. I wanted to be the reason why he would feel better. But all of this was just what I wanted. I never thought I could be this selfish. I never thought about what he wanted.
It was all for me. This would make me happy but I don't really know if this would please him. We were different from each other. We got different tastes and ideas that would please ourselves. We never thought about what others would want unless they mean something to us.
But he means something to me. And I don't mean something to him. This is the problem with us. We love from one-sided and chose to bear with all the consequences. We don't care on what'll happen as long as we enjoy what we are having in the present. Just him being there and me seeing him was enough for him as a friend and schoolmate.
But I wanted more. And I know he doesn't. By the words that he speak. By the actions that he does. He would never want to be with me in a different way.
Yes I wanted everything to change...
But I want it for the better. I'll chose the path wherein all can be just and I'll just accept the truth.
And all I could do is look at him love someone else from afar...
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.
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