Heartbreak
Cold heartbreak
Go away
From here
Today was our dress rehearsals for the gratitude day. It was nice to know we were going to school at 12:30 and we go home at 5:30 without subjects. It means I get to stare at him for who knows how long. But then, there was this issue I brought up. It's about A and the girl.
I was teasing him and the girl with my friends because they always fight. Then when we saw A at the 3rd floor, I said to the girl
Hey, A wants to talk to you. He wants to give you something.
Then she asked me where he was and I told her where he is. She then went to the 3rd floor and I didn't know what happened. Then A went to the 4th floor where we're all at. He entered our designated place which is the classroom. Then I got the chance to see him. He looked very smooth with his mint green polo and its tucked in with his slacks/pants.
He was dang fine. I thought. I couldn't look away from him. I can't even control my feelings inside. My stomach full of butterflies everytime he's near. I get nervous that I might show these feelings. He might notice it and start avoiding me.
And that's the part that I don't ever want to happen. Him avoiding me will be my death. I might just die everytime I see him with her and him avoiding me. It's like his actions were knives, killing me with just one step away from where I am. It's gonna be so awkward for the both of us but mostly for me.
But I know he's not that kind of guy. Every time I walk past him and he walks by me, I notice that he looks at me. I don't know why but he just looks at me and with just that one look, I melt. I don't know what to do and so I quickly look away everytime our eyes meet.
I couldn't care less of my surroundings. They probably don't care of me and him having eye contact. Now when I see him, I look but then he looks at me too. I don't understand how he see me even though I am not visibly present. How does he do that? But anyways, I like it.
Who cares if I like him? I have the right to like someone. Everyone has the right to like someone. No one can stop them but themselves. But sometimes feelings can't be controlled. They're just there even before you know it and even before you know it'll be there. It's kinda surprising though you'll get used to it even if the feeling is different based on the person.
Still... I ain't sure if these feelings are true. But I guess the heartbreak that I feel whenever he's with someone else proves it.
.
.
.
