Yeah it takes a bit more...
It takes a bit more than You
Last night in our group chat, he got into another arguement with the girl. She's part of our Chorale group. We sing together in school activities. When they got into the arguement, they didn't even know where and how they started. The thing that caught my eye was what he said.
Hey, can we talk about this?
It stung a little but I don't mind. I'll get used to it somehow. Then today in school, I watched them talk. I just saw the girl say 'please' with a pouty face. Then when we were all standing up, they were close to each other and I though 'dang... They look so good together. Their height fits perfect with each other. They're both tall. She's nothing compared to me.'
I know that I'll just be standing where I am and watching them. I can't do anything about it. And if I do, I'll make an issue and they'll be curious. They would know what I feel. They would know how I feel about him. And I don't want that to happen. Even my closest friends don't know about these feelings, what more could I let others know? That's a big no.
When it was our gratitude day practice, we were on the quad and scattered all around. When they have fixed their places, they were almost ready to sing. Then suddenly, he walked to my back. I looked at him and noticed that we were so close. I looked at his face but he didn't looked at me. He just stood there doing nothing. Then a few seconds later, he walked away from me and proceeded to his place.
When we were outside the corridor of our classrooms, I asked him.
Are you guys gonna sing?
How about you?
No... yes. But in a different group.
Then I walked away and just in time, he said something that stopped me from my tracks.
C'mon let's finish this.
I though he was referring to me and I asked myself 'what? Omyghad'. I was surprised but then I looked back and saw that he was telling it to his groupmates. They were about to finish their project. My heartbeat quickened when that moment happened. I thought there was something more about what he's gonna say. But I guessed wrong.
Who would even hope to have the love they long for? That would probably make us look stupid. All our should-have-been's aren't always meant to come true. It would be unfair to those who feel the opposite towards us while we feel something towards them.
Maybe it would be best if I leave it for now. Leave all these feelings behind and try to get myself. I wouldn't get far enough if I keep on holding onto something temporary. I am not even sure if these feelings are temporary.
Maybe it is... Maybe it's not...
I don't know. Who knows? Maybe this love just knocked on my door and I happen to be busy with something else? Who knew that after it knocked, my whole life changed. He changed it. The way I look at my old crush is now the way I look at him. The feelings of my past have been faded and it was transferred to him.
It does take a bit more than him...
.
.
.
