Just By Chance || Niall Horan (2)

Chapter 14.

• Fourteen : butterfly flies away •

  ✨October 24th 2017;

My eyes scan around the empty hospital room, casting upon the bed she once lay upon. A small, sad smile makes its way onto my face, as I sigh.

I'm emotionless; completely emotionless. It's as if my brain has not registered what's happened just yet and someday; maybe tomorrow, next week, next month, I'll finally let loose of the tears I so helplessly want to cry, but know I can't.

The girl who was different than everyone else - the one who managed to steal my heart without even trying, is gone. My baby, she didn't make it.

"Niall?" I hum, turning around to face the door just as I had placed my hand softly upon the mattress. My eyes lock with Caitlin's, her eyes puffy and red from the excessive amount of crying she's been doing over the last number of days. Freya's death hit her straight away. When she heard the news, she screamed; cried; cursed the doctors out and told them they better be lying or she'd kill them herself.

Perrie's a bit like myself. She's emotionless and the news of her best friend being gone hasn't fully hit her yet. Louis though? He's a mess, and I can see how strong Danielle is trying to be for him, but on the inside I can see how badly she wants to cry. After all, Freya was one of those people who left her mark on everyone. She was just so lovable and irresistible and no one could resist her charm. Danielle and her had become very close, and I know she's probably hurting just as much as us.

Caitlin mutters a few words to me, but I simply shrug, my eyes locked on the pillow she only days before, had rested her head upon. "Niall?" I bite my lip, looking towards the doorway yet again only to see Caitlin gone and Freya's brother standing there. "Are you alright?"

I shrug, not replying as I give the room one last look before pushing past him and exiting. Everyone looks at me, waiting for me to say my first words of three days, but I don't. I don't know what to say, or how to comfort anyone for the loss of my girlfriend. I don't know what to say to Louis, or Perrie, or even her mam.

I promised her I wasn't going anywhere until she got better; she promised she would be fine, I guess we both lied.

Freya is already half way back to London by now, and it's time for us all to follow her - her funeral is tomorrow.

I nod towards Grace as I pass by, hearing the footsteps of them all behind me. Perrie, Louis, Caitlin, Conor and Danielle and I all wanted to pay one last visited to the room Freya spent her last moments, the place where we have our last memories with her. The place I gave her our last kiss, and told her I loved her.

"Niall!" Grace calls. "She wanted me to give you this," an envelope is placed in my hands, my name scribbled across it in Freya's perfect handwriting, it would put mine to shame if I'm being honest. She hands Louis, Perrie and Caitlin one too, as I gently run my finger across the writing, sighing.

"She knew this was going to happen?" I finally speak, receiving surprised looks from them all.

"No, she didn't, but as you're all probably aware, she's always prepared, and the thought of leaving you all without a proper goodbye wasn't an option, so she wrote this in case something did."

•   •   •    •    •    •

Louis, Perrie and I all stand, slowing making our way towards the altar and genuflecting before making our way up the steps to the stand. My eyes lock on the coffin as Louis steps up to speak first, only getting a few words out before choking on his own tears and his words becoming incomprehensible. From Louis' tears, Perrie follows. Whilst she was emotionless just like me, she took her breakdown of tears on the plane back to London and has yet to stop crying, whereas I still feel nothing.

I step forward, giving them both a comforting hug as they sob, shaking their heads. I mumble for them to go back to the seat, telling them I'll make a speech on the behalf of all of us.

"Um, for those of you who don't know me, I was Freya's unofficial boyfriend, mainly due to the fact the day she took sick, i planned to take her to Paris and ask her to be my girlfriend. I knew she loved romance and when I done cute things and I wanted to give her the world, um, im babbling, sorry," I pause, looking towards the coffin once again and my feelings hitting me like a ton of bricks.

I won't see her again.

I won't get to kiss her lips.

I won't get to hold her when she's cold, and I won't get to cuddle her at night time.

My eyes begin to water and I attempt to gulp back my tears, I look back towards the crowd of people, all sad looks across their face, the ones close to her with tissues up to their faces, trying to control the waterfall of tears that just seem to keep coming.

"Um," I choke out, "I guess I just want you to know that I love you, Freya. Louis and Perrie, Caitlin, your mam - we all love you. I know I'll never get to hear you say those words again, and I'm only beginning to comprehend that I'll never get to see you again, but," I shake my head, tears beginning to fall. "Sleep peacefully, baby. I love you," I quickly abandon the mic, breaking out into a slight jog as I quickly head towards the back of the chapel, for the door, feeling as if I'm suffocating in this room.

I drop to my knees once outside, letting everything I've been unable to, go. Sob after sob, after sob.

Someone helps me to my feet and I easily identify them as Louis. It's then I notice the crowds of people exiting the chapel, Freya's coffin being carried out.

Fifty minutes later I still sit in tears, staring at the hole in the ground. People begun clearing out a little over twenty minutes ago.

I finally decide that it's time i read the letter she left me.

Dear Niall,

So I guess every time we said goodbye in the hospital, just in case something were to happen, we finally had our last?

I'm not gonna write you an essay here, Ni, I'm gonna keep it short and sweet, just like me ;)

Okay, so maybe this isn't the time for jokes, but you know I've never been able to behave in situations I'm meant to, right?

Anywho, I love you, and I know you love me, too. I love you a whole lot more than I ever thought possible, and I want you to know that if you ever happen to come across someone, as much as this kills me to think about, I want you to fall in love again and have children and be happy.

Don't be sad I'm gone Niall, and please, don't go straight to drinking to try and forget. I'm glad I met you that day in my room in Lou's, Ni, despite the fact you were only thinking with your dîck and wanted me in bed.

However, I'm serious, I know you never planned to fall in love, but maybe you'll be lucky to come across another someone who can change your mind about that, just how I did.

Sit tight. I know you're probably hurting now, but just know I'll always be with you and I'll always love you.

Love you lots, Ni.

-Freya xo

I'm sorry, people. Just please don't stop reading and give the next chapter a chance. You might hate me right now, but who knows what'll happen next. What will happen to Niall now,? Perrie? Louis?

Please just keep reading and don't hate me.