Just By Chance || Niall Horan (2)

Chapter 11.

• Eleven : 60% •

✨October 8th 2017;

I pull my hoodie over my head, dropping it to the floor at my feet, the heat of the hospital finally becoming too much for me.

It's been a little over five hours since she went into surgery and not only am I confused, but so is everyone else due to the fact we all thought appendicitis surgery was a simple procedure that only took around two hours max.

Isn't appendicitis a very common illness?

"You wanna go get a coffee?" Louis asks quietly, nudging me. I sigh, looking at him, yet nod. The two of us quietly make our way downstairs, not wanting to disturb a sleeping Perrie, Liam and Caitlin.

The two of us get a coffee from the machine, considering the café is closed due to the time. "You alright man?" He asks as we begin to slowly make our way back through the hospital to get to the floor Freya's on.

"You were in her life first man, how are you holding up?" I ask him.

He smiles at me, shaking his head. "I don't love her like you do. Being her best friend and caring for her like that is two completely different things, so the real question is, how are you holding up?" I shrug, not having an answer, but having the think about it first.

"Have you ever though about Freya that way?" I ask, curious, completely changing our topic.

"What way?"

"The way I think about her. Like, did you ever have feelings for her? Maybe not love her, but like her. Care for her more than a best friend should?"

"When I first met Freya, it was that camp in London. Even at fourteen, she had heads turning. She's stunning Niall, I know, trust me I definitely know, but besides that small attraction I felt towards her when I first met her, It quickly dissipated and I started to see her as a little sister."

"I don't know how to do this Louis. I don't know how to love someone like I love her," I shake my head. "This. This worrying, I don't like this. I don't like constantly worrying if she's okay when she's not with me. I don't like the idea of other boys besides you around her, and what if I'm not good enough for her? What if she's not okay Louis?" I become teary eyed, using the collar of my t-shirt to wipe my eyes.

"I get it, I do. I'm the same with Danielle, besides the fact we don't spend as much time together as you and Freya. You two are in this honeymoon stage, that me, Perrie, Caitlin and all were talking about a few months ago, and we all expected you to grow out of it, but you and Freya haven't. You don't need to be good enough Niall, and neither does she, but just know that she loves you, and that's the best thing in a relationship," I nod, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath as the doors open. When we step out, we see the three of them awake, a doctor standing in front of them, a sad look on his face.

When he looks at the two of us as Perrie nods towards us, he offers us a sad smile, shaking his head. I furrow my eyebrows, "don't look at me like that. Where the fuck is my girlfriend?" I ask, sitting the coffee down, my heart beat accelerating in my chest.

"You must be Niall," he smiles, softly. I nod, cautiously stepping towards them. "When we got Freya to surgery, her case of appendicitis was a lot more complicated that we first thought. The poison was seeping from the appendix and were on the verge of busting. Ten minutes later and she may have died," I sigh in relief at the words 'may have died'.

My eyes begin watering and I don't give a shît about how much of a puśsy I look like right now, I begin crying in relief. "So she's okay?"

"For the moment. She is one very sick woman right now, and will be placed in intensive care for the foreseeing weeks until we see fit to release her. She has a 60% chance of survival right now."

I furrow my eyebrows, shaking my head. "You're a fucking doctor! You're meant to fix people! You're meant to cure people! Fucking tell me my girlfriend is going to be okay! I don't want no 60% percent bullshît! I want an 100% reassurance that she'll be fine!"

"Sir, it's out of my hands now, it's up to her."

Angry, I clench my fist, punching the wall. Louis pulls me back before I get the chance to do it again, and I just shake my head, crying. "I love her Louis, I love her," I sob. "She has to be okay, she has to be okay."

60% chance of survival.

40% chance of death.

No matter if there is an extra 10% on the side I want, Freya could be the 40%. All that is takes is for something to go wrong and I could lose her. I can't lose her.

I know I told her I was okay with getting my heart broken if it was done by her, but I didn't mean like this. I'm not okay with getting my heart broken that way. If she decides to break my heart, I want her in perfect health and to be able to move on and love someone else, not be buried six feet under and leaving behind all the people who love her.

You can make it through this, baby.