Fire and Ice

Eighteen: Corey

I sat on the edge of the roof, rubbing my hands together, feeling ill and unsettled. I had agreed to stay the night with the condition of not sleeping behind a closed door - so in other words, I'd sleep on the couch. Folded out beyond me, lights peppered and winked, almost like fireflies flickering on and off. It was late, well, early morning and I couldn't sleep, so I settled on getting on the roof for air. The summer breeze was comforting, wrapping around me like a warm blanket. I loved, yet hated the feeling. I brought my knees up to my chest, resting my chin on the tops of them and closed my eyes. Images of the night flickered through of Lucinda's face when I had snapped at her and of Hayden's face when I snapped at him earlier in the week. The worst, most painful images, were those of Hayden and I together from Year 7 right through to this year. Silent tears found their way down my cheeks once again, but this time they were out of pure hurt and absence. His laugh, his grin, his jokes, his clumsiness - everything echoed in my mind. My best friend... a hunter. The one who knew me inside out, the one whom I trusted with everything beside my 'secret' that now I know he knew anyway... a hunter. The one that had always been there for me, and I for him... a hunter.

I found myself rocking back and forth in the position I was, wishing it was all a bad dream. Lucinda came back into my mind, these memories, although very few, were very fond. Especially last Thursday night when we went dress shopping. We had really connected that night. I found myself spilling everything to her and she did the same to me. The connection we had - and I'm not talking the literal mental one - was almost immediate and odd but was nice.

Forcing my eyes open, the world was blotchy and blurry; hazed and fogged. I squeezed my eyes shut and tightly pursed my lips together. Everything Jasper and I had argued about had good reason to be argued... But I didn't understand his protective nature over me and the sudden submissive state. He wasn't meant to be like that. He was born and raised a dominant leader, one who did not have to bow down to anyone... Yet he was the opposite against me. Yes, I challenged him and yes, I'm an idiot for doing it, but I didn't submit to him like I was supposed to... he submitted to me. Something was weird with Jasper's behaviour, but then again, something was weird within me, too. The way my heart raced and my stomach flipped; the way my eyes struggled to look anywhere else but his; the way his scent made me dizzy; the way his voice just lingered in the air... For some reasons, all these things drew me to him but I didn't understand why.

Soft creaks chirped behind me, indicating someone was on the roof. I casually turned my head to see the familiar silhouette of Jasper making his way to me. He sat down silently beside me, pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around his legs. I chewed on my bottom lip and looked out at the town, knowing that a joyful life was being carried out somewhere, or even better, they were asleep without a worry in the world, without tears, without sleeplessness or restlessness. Jasper and I sat silently. It wasn't awkward, rather, it was a comforting silence. His body nestled close to mine, but no too close - we weren't sitting on top of each other at least. I felt warmth from his hip against mine and I focused on that feeling rather than the hurt and betrayal in my chest; my heart. I could depict where my street was, even in the dark. I longed to go home... I wish I had, I may have never gotten myself into this situation... But then again, I may have never known about Hayden. Maybe it was better I knew... maybe it wasn't. Max floated into my mind and I struggled to form a conclusion or theory as to why Hayden punched him... The thought of Max being a hunter as well made me sick, but I decided against it. Max was different, I knew that, I knew better than to think he was one of the worst... but then again, I thought the same of Hayden too.

I shook my head, trying to rid of all the heart aching thoughts and slightly leaned into Jasper. Thankfully he didn't mind. I cleared my throat I rattled of possible things to say to him.