Fire and Ice

Nineteen: Lucinda

"Stop it!" I screamed. "Stop!" I was still chained up and in excruciating pain. Some wounds healed faster than others which was good considering that it could have been worse. But the ones that were struggling to heal had a reason. The vervain burned my skin and the 'holy' water was acidic to my vampire nature. My family had taught me as a young vampire about hunter's 'holy' water. It was not exactly "holy" persay but was magnified with UV rays and - like the sun - still hurt like crap.

"How did you find out about me?" I asked, trying to ignore the pain. Hayden looked up at me and frowned in confusion. I guess he wasn't expecting me to talk or ask him questions throughout this torturous initiation.

"The hunter's told me," Hayden shrugged me off.

"But how did you know?" I asked. "How did you know for sure?"

Hayden ran a hand through his messy hair and replied, "When you tried to compel me." This time it was my turn to frown. I tried to flick some hair out of my face that had fallen forward. I was starting to wish that I had a hair tie to put it up.

I thought back to the time when I believed that I had compelled Hayden before the school dance. You will go to the school dance tonight. You will go with me and be my date. You won't worry about Corey's mood and enjoy yourself. I remembered Hayden's dazed expression as he took in my commands and the guilt that had overcome my whole body when I had finished.

"How could you tell?" I asked softly. "Why didn't it work?"

"Vervain," Hayden said clearly. I closed my eyes and exhaled sharply knowing that the vervain would have protected Hayden from any vampire compulsion. His one word response was enough to give me a little relief that I didn't actually use compulsion on him so there was no need for my guilt anymore, however, it sent shivers down my spine and through the rest of my body. How easy was it to decept my vampiric nature to onlookers? I was a risk to my family - to all vampire families around me.

"How long have you been taking vervain?" I wondered aloud. Hayden sighed getting tired of my questions.

"Since I knew that I was going to be a hunter," he replied simply as if there was nothing to it. With the reminder that Hayden was going to be a hunter made me want to cower away in the corner. He wouldn't be one unless he killed me. I think he realised this too.

I hung my head and gasped as Hayden pulled another stake out from my body. I glanced down at him with blurry, watery eyes and was surprised to see his expression hard but pained. My normally cold body was hot and sticky with blood and sweat. I tried to swallow but ended up choking on the dried up blood in my throat. Hayden looked up at me and quickly looked away.

"Hayden," I whispered. "If you have to kill me, kill me. Don't make this sufferable. I thought you were my friend." I winced as I said the word 'friend' knowing truly well that I had been betrayed and our friendship - whatever we had - had just been thrown out the window. Hayden twirled the stake in his hand and took a deep breath before he looked back up at me.

"I am so sorry Luce," Hayden said softly. "I wish it wasn't you."

I closed my eyes waiting for the last blow to come. I pictured Corey back home. Her smile and her sly comments about my vampire lifestyle. The way she was always on edge at school and around me. That girl needed to loosen up and I hoped that Jasper would help her with that. I also hoped that she would figure out the bond between her and Jasper and act on it. Just thinking about Corey made me imagine her voice whispering softly in my mind. I would miss her. I thought about my parents and they way they had raised me. Helped me through my blood change and were always there for me when I needed them. Then I thought of Nicholas. I thought of the way I used to tease him and even compel him over the little, stupid things. I thought about how I would never see Nicholas grow up. Never support him through his blood change. Race him in the moonlight and help him control his thirst. I would never see him grow up, have a girlfriend, learn to fight and use his pheromones. I began to wonder what he would do without me. What they would all do without me. But for the slightest moment, I let myself believe that they would be happy and move on with their lives. Eventually.