Being Perfect

Chapter 1 - Changes

Chapter 1 Nichole

If I had anyone to blame it was myself. Days, weeks, months passed and with each visit from Louis I'd slowly grow further and further away from the Tomlinson's. It wasn't their fault or his for the matter. He sent me clothes, jewelry, and even carrots, my favorite vegetable. On time he slipped up in a video diary trying to be funny and saying my favorite vegetable instead of his, now he has enough carrots for life. He, unfortunately, hates carrots. Honestly I give all the presents to Lottie. She's still here. I'm still here. Even after three years and my new job, I still haven't come up with enough money to buy or even rent a flat. It was sad and pathetic really. I paid Jo what I could, but it probably wasn't even a dent in the bills. Yes, I did say three years. Louis and the other boys from One Direction didn't win the X Factor, but that didn't stop them from global success. Two world tours later and they still have an ungodly amount of fans. To sum it up, after the X factor loss Louis came home. Things were a bit awkward at first. Girls constantly yelling outside while on the inside there was a tension between me and Louis rooms louder than any fangirling. We never talked anymore and again that was my fault. I should have seen it coming when management told the boys some of them 'had to have girlfriends'. Therefore Louis got stuck with this snobby, upper class, bitch named Eleanor. She's really sweet until you talk to her. Who would've thought right? And poor, innocent, Liam got stuck with Sophia. We all really knew he loved Danielle, one of the dancers off the X factor, but no. 'Dating other people from the x factor is strictly prohibited during, or after your time.' Who makes a fucking rule like that?! So on his off time Louis would have to schedule at least one day where he had to listening to her constantly complain as long as it was in public. He would smile and kiss her cheek and I would secretly die even if I knew it was fake. Zayn came over quite a bit and me and him hung out a lot. We never left my room though. He was like a big brother to me. Today the family went to meet the boys at the airport and I stayed here to cook and clean. I liked to keep myself busy. The first few months Louis was gone I didn't know what to do with myself. I developed an eating disorder back then and I still do it, but less frequently. Bulimia. The only who knew was Lottie. She found me one day over the toilet when I'd been careless enough to leave the door unlocked. The shock in her face quickly turned to sadness when I crumpled in tears. I feel bad because she hates Louis now. She can't stand him. I know this is my fault too. I sighed and leaned against the counter. Why was I still running from him? This question popped in my mind every time he was home. Now it's Christmas and I know he's going to bring, her. He has to. Liam's going to Sophia's and I'm thinking about slipping that boy some drugs to deal with her dumb ass. If you asked her what two plus two is I guarantee she'd say ten. Don't test me because I've asked her and that was the answer. I would make all the food and then retreat to my room while they opened presents and fought over who gets the last roll. Lottie would bring up all the presents that were for me and then we'd have a quiet evening like every Christmas. Only this year I wanted it to be different. The fact that Eleanor was going to be added to our happy but crazy family stirred something inside of me. She was 'dating' Louis. My Louis. The Louis who always texted knowing he was going to get no reply. The Louis who would call me knowing there would be no answer. The Louis who bought me things and sent them to me from different countries knowing they were going to collect dust in Lottie's room. But it wasn't just the feeling that I wanted it to be different, it felt like it was going to be different. I pulled the last batch of cookies out of the oven. Chocolate chip. I left a little bit of the dough in a container with Louis' name on it since he preferred that rather than the actual cookie itself. I looked at the clock. Five pm. They should be here any moment. I cleaned off the counters and hung up my apron. I went to my room to change. I picked dark skinny jeans with a white stripped sweater and red toms. My outfit reminded me of Louis older days in the first year of One Direction. I smiled thinking back to his ridiculous attire. I had just finished curling my hair when I heard the door shut downstairs. "Zayn misses you. This is your warning!" I heard Lottie shout as she was probably hanging up her coat. Suddenly I heard the door swing open and bang against the wall. I heard Tricia yelling something in the yard, but I was focused on the dark skinned, golden eyed boy who was taking the steps two at a time to get to me.