Girl of Never : Days to Love (Chat MD Series #4)

Day 145 : Blue roses

Blue roses
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'I can't have you but I can't stop thinking about you.'

What makes him think he can't have me? I thought upon seeing the bouquet of blue roses by the bed. In flower language, that's what blue roses means. Iyong mga bulaklak ang namulatan ko. Wala na si Harry sa tabi ko. The clock by the wall says it's eight in the morning.

I reached for the card na kasama ng flowers. Handwriting ni Harry. The words are few but I know what it means.

I want to have a day with you.

I bit my lower lip and breathe deeply. What should I do? Sabi niya sa card, naaalala niya raw lahat—kissing me, holding me, sleeping beside me. Balewala pala 'yung email na sinend ko kaninang nagising ako nang alanganin, para hindi siya mahirapang mag-brush off ng nangyari. Nabasa niya kaya 'yun bago siya bumili ng bulaklak? At sigurado ba siya sa gusto niya sa card?

Ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko sa anticipation.

I want to see him.

Lumabas ako ng kwarto para hanapin si Harry nang marinig ko ang isang pamilyar na boses sa living room. Nagbago ang kaba sa dibdib ko. My anticipation was slowly being killed by a voice.

Dahan-dahan ang hakbang ko sa hagdan at ang pagsilip sa living room.

"Hello, Harry. How are you?"

I know that voice all too well. Napatigil ako at kumapit sa barandilya. I'm suffocated.

Tanaw ko ang likuran ni Harry habang nakaupo siya sa mahabang couch. Bagsak ang mga balikat niya.

A video was playing on the big screen. Si Neah.

"Have you forgotten about me?" Neah asked. "If—"

Harry paused the video. Then, played it again.

"Hello, Harry. How are you? Have you forgotten about me?"

Pause. Play.

Nakita kong sumapo si Harry sa ulo niya habang pabalik-balik nang gano'n lang ang video. Hindi nya maituloy. Hindi rin niya maitigil.

"Have you forgotten about me?"

Mas matagal ang kasunod na pagtigil ng video.

Bago pa maramdaman ni Harry na nando'n ako, bumalik na 'ko sa kwarto. I looked at the blue roses and that line from the card.

I want to have a day with you.

Why is it so unfair? I want to have a day with him, too. But the day ended before it even started.

Nanghapdi ang mata ko sa nagbabadyang luha. A hand was squeezing my heart to bleed dry. Why is it always like this with Harry?

Nang makarinig ako ng mga yabag sa labas ng silid, pumasok ako sa banyo.

I heard the bedroom door opened. Nakiramdam ako. Hindi ko alam kung ano'ng ginawa ni Harry sa kwarto pero nag-stay siya ng ilang minuto.

Nang marinig ko ang paglabas niya ng bedroom, lumabas ako ng banyo. May nag-beep na message sa messenger ko.

Harry : I'm going out for a while.

Hindi ako nag-reply. I couldn't tell him that I'm going out, too.

I took my suitcases and packed my things. Nagdikit ako ng note sa bedroom door ko that says I left.

Nag-check din ako sa kwarto ni Harry.