Release Me

Chapter Four

Damon watched as Bonnie gently opened the envelope that could possibly determine the entire future. If its even possible it made him 10x more anxious because he knew what was in it and he didn't expect to actually be around when she read it.

His vampire hearing allowed him to hear everything from the way Bonnie's breathing pattern changed to the way her heart beat increased as she read the first few words.

Dear Bonnie,

If you're reading this it means I've finally decided to man up and face the repercussions that all my actions have led up to and i know you're not going to like it but please go in to this with an open mind.

In order to keep you safe i'm taking it upon myself to desiccate until Elena wakes up. Since I know you, i know that you're currently thinking i'm only doing this for her and you hate me for it but the only person aside from my brother that i'm doing this for is you Bonnie.

You are the bravest, strongest, most will powered woman that i have ever met Bonnie and despite everything that you've lost you somehow find a way to let it build you in to a greater woman. You inspire me Bon. You sacrificed everything you had left for me and i will be forever in debt to you.

I thought i had my mind set with Katherine and i waited over a century to be with her only to be left alone, so naturally when I met Elena i was obsessed with her solely because she was Katherine except she was all good things that Katherine wasn't. For my own selfish reasons i had my mind set on her but along with Elena came her fierce best friend Miss Bonnie Sheila Bennett.

Since day one you and only you saw through my bullshit facade and you never missed an opportunity to call me out when i was wrong. I despised you not because i genuinely hated you. I despised you because i knew that i couldn't fool you, no matter what you'd always out Damon me somehow.

When we first arrived in 1994 i thought that for sure i was in my personal hell but you held me together Bonnie. Your unwillingness to give up on me, on us was enough to show me that there was a different type of love out there that I'd never encountered before.

When i was sent home i stopped at nothing to bring you back but i'm not strong like you Bonnie, I am a broken man and i know that's something you seen so when i thought you were gone forever i plummeted. Somewhere along the lines of our friendship I started to feel something strange every time I so much as heard your name and at the time I really didn't know how to deal with it so I just suppressed these feelings because well you're Bonnie,  I'm Damon and I couldn't risk losing what we had.

The day I got home to you sitting in my kitchen something in me clicked. No one has ever given me that feeling ever in life. Not Katherine, not Elena, not Blondie, no one.

In that moment i realized what i was feeling. I was confused for a very long time trying to figure out what it was that made me weak for you. I thought it was just that you were my best friend and i'd do anything for you but i don't feel that way Bon i'm sorry.

Bonnie Sheila Bennett I love you. I am in love with you. I love everything about you. From the way you squint your eyes when you're trying to concentrate, to the way you get three little forehead wrinkles when you're mad. I love the way you carry yourself as the tough warrior you are. I love the way you say my name when you're mad/happy/sad, I love the way you love like you have nothing to lose. I love that you never gave up on me and that you saw something that no one else did.

I adore your kind smile and your gentle eyes. You have so much good in you Bonnie and despite what I put you through you continue treat me so well (that is when i deserve it).

I love your overwhelming amount strength, integrity, and your desire to always do the right thing. Even though you've lost so much you have such a strong love for others and your ability to forgive and be so generous makes me want to be the best that I can be.

You can always make me laugh, even when I don't want to. You never fail to call me out when I step out of line you never let me get away with my wrongdoings although it is annoying I wouldn't change it. When I look into your eyes, those gorgeous emerald eyes I see a reflection of my own soul. A soul that you have taken your time with, a soul that you saved.

Bonnie, my beautiful Bonnie, this is a lot harder than you probably think it is. I love and respect you more than I can put in words and because i respect you so much its making it that much more important for me to get as far away from you as i can.

Everyone I've ever loved has always ended up hurt in some way shape or form and i would rather die all over again or live an eternity in hell before i could ever get the chance to hurt you again. I've done enough of that to last a lifetime and honestly my heart couldn't bare it anymore bon.

You deserve the utmost happiness that life could ever offer and i just have to accept that i can't give you what you what you need so while im gone promise to find the love you deserve in someone that will treat you like the queen that you are, even create feisty little witchy babies that i'll have to look out for in a few decades. Just do what makes you happy.

Stop trying to please others sweetheart you'll only end up more broken down than you already are. This is killing me Bon Bon, it really is. I could never apologize enough for leaving you this way and I will hate myself for it every single day you're not with me but when you love someone you put their needs in front of yours no matter how much it'll break you.

You can call me a monster for falling in love with Elena's best friend but I don't regret it Bonnie, not one bit.

Live out your days judgy. I know we never had our moment but we will always have the memories of the time we did spend together. I'm sorry i never told you, my love, but i always meant to, everyday.

-Damon Salvatore

I hope I did the letter a little bit of justice!! Thank you for reading :) Please vote, comment, follow etc.