Release Me

Chapter Three

"How are you here? I mean i'm not dead am I? Not that i'd be entirely mad but its merely impossible for you to be here unless... You know..." Bonnie let out in a laughing matter.

"Bonnie can I just say that I--"

"What that you're sorry? No Damon you're not sorry because if you really wanted to stay here with us... with me, then you would have but its okay now because I know how much I really mean to you, it's just been hard to accept" As she whispered the last part she felt a slight pang in her chest at the realization.

"Look Bonnie I know I made a mistake three years ago and if that's what you wanted me to admit then i'll scream it to the world but I had no choice. If I didn't do what I done then you and my brother would both be dead and I would never be able to live out my eternal days knowing that you or him died trying to save me" He partially yelled.

" You know Damon, there's always a choice and every time you make one, someone gets hurt." She said taking a step closer with every word that escaped her mouth.

"Bon please just let me explain"

She could hear the desperation in his voice but her heart unwillingly turned to stone.

"Why should I? You had the chance to tell me anything you wanted to three years ago, but you threw all that away when you decided to go through the most unbearable pain a vampire can experience to get away from me, until i DIE. 

Do you have any idea how that made me feel Damon? I am your best friend... Or was. Buuut Elena's your epic one true love and she's always going to mean a hell of a lot more to you than I ever will even in temporary death." Bonnie spat at him.

Now it was Damon's turn to feel the pang in his chest as he heard those words bolt from her angry little body.

"Bon why are you so mad at me? I left to protect you not to hurt you! I desiccated because no matter how hard I would've tried to get you to stop saving my ass you wouldn't because you Bonnie Bennett are one fiercely loyal little witch and I owed it to you to at least give you a shot at normality without risking your damn life over and over again!"

As much as Bonnie understood why he done it she just couldn't let it slide. She wanted him to understand and feel what she did.

She sat down on his bed and took in a deep breath. "Trust me Damon, you have no idea how much I want to forgive you but you really could have talked to me instead of causing me three years of literal pain and despair."

"Have you tried talking to you Bonnie? Its like talking to a brick wall" They both smiled as he sat down right next to her.

"Especially when it comes to me, we both know that under any circumstance you would never stop trying to protect me. You literally cut off Enzo's hand to save me from little lockwood and what happened then? You almost died. I tried to heal you on sight but nothing happened then in the hospital i tried to heal you again and you guessed it, another failure, it scared the living daylights out of me bon. Watching you barely conscious laying in that hospital bed was enough motivation for me to make the final decision to leave. I done it for YOU. He yelled trying to instill his point in to her.

" I understand why you done it Damon but that doesn't change the fact that you abandoned everyone who ever cared about you. I cared about you more than anyone else in the world but it was never enough and you cemented the fact that i would never be enough for you when you made the decision to walk away. There was a reason i fought so hard to always save you Damon but none of that matters anymore."

They sat in a quick silence not knowing what to say next. Damon turned to look in those beautiful emerald green eyes that once shone brighter than any star he'd ever laid an eye on but this time all he saw in those once gleaming eyes was pure emptiness. He started feeling a little uneasy knowing that he is to blame for all of her pain and it made him want to stake himself.

"How did you feel when i was trapped n 1994?" Bonnie asked him genuinely curious.

"Honestly Bonnie it was harder than anything I've had to experience knowing that you were all alone and there was nothing i could do but carry on with the people here. I hated myself for not having you here and I tried to fill the void inside of me with alcohol and sex but nothing helped because something inside of me yearned for your presence, but I couldn't have it and it killed me more and more everyday you were gone."

"Yeah well try living like that for three years Damon." she retorted sadly before getting up and walking towards the door.

"You didn't read the letter did you?"

She turned around and stared blankly at him waiting for him to get to the point.

"You carried it with you for three years but you never read it" He said averting his eyes towards the purse sitting on his bedside table.

"I tried for three years to bring myself to read it but I couldn't because I knew that once I read it, it would mean that I would be accepting the fact that you were gone and for some godforsaken reason I couldn't do it."

"Bonnie I need you to read the letter please."

"And what if I don't want to?" she replied in a slightly playful tone.

"You always were the stubborn one little witch but once you read the letter everything will change."

Bonnie looked up at him and saw something flash in his eyes. Something she recognized but had only ever seen happen once but she brushed it off and walked over to her bag to retrieve the letter.

"If you want me to leave I totally understand" Damon asked in hopes she'd make him go.

"No, stay. Seeing as you're so eager for me to read the damn thing you can stay to witness my reaction first hand."