Release Me

Chapter Twelve

*Trigger Warning. Y'all know what's coming.*

As the car came to a clean stop both Bonnie and Damon briefly prepared themselves as best as they could for what was about to be said and done.

"Three weeks." She croaked out.
"It was three weeks before my downfall really began. I finally reached the bottom, the lowest point I had ever been in my life. Everyday it got harder to breathe and I just, I just felt trapped, and alone."

She didn't have to be a vampire to hear Damons heart slowly crumble with every word that left her mouth.

"I needed something to take the edge off so I turned to weed and alcohol but I saw how drinking destroyed grams and I didn't want to be that."

She gulped down hard scared of the reaction he would give upon hearing the next words that formed against her lips.

"After a little bit the weed wasn't enough. It was like I had a constant scratch that I couldn't itch and it wasn't until I made that first cut that I felt at ease. I became addicted to it, it was a distraction, something that took the pain away. After a while they got harder to hide so I started getting tattoos and the more I got the more I'd start in other places on my body. No one noticed. No one cared to ever ask if I was okay, I always had you for that, then I didn't."

Damon was enraged and she could feel it radiating off of his now shaking body. He looked as if he wanted to drain the entire human race and throw his daylight ring into the ocean but he just sat there, listening to the gut wrenching tale that was the past three years of Bonnie Bennett's life.

She glanced at him then straight ahead out the windshield unsure whether or not to carry on. After a moment she closed her eyes, took a deep breath and proceeded.

"It was like every single bad thing that had happened, every loss I had to endure, all the grief came flooding back at once and it was too much so I took it out in myself. I didn't want to believe that you triggered all of this because it's you, but it really broke my heart."

She could feel his intense stare burning a hole in the side of her head but she refused to meet his gaze.

"My best friend left me and it broke my heart. She whispered out while her voice broke. "More than any other guy ever did."

Damon opened his mouth to speak but closed it again without realising.

"Just say it, we need to get everything out in order to move on." She said with understanding eyes.

He piped up for the first time this conversation with a certain softness in his voice. "Bonnie, were your feelings for me before I left... were they more than just platonic?"

She hesitated before answering with a sigh. "I guess so."

Damon was reeling hearing her admit that she felt for him the same way he did her. It hit him that if he wasn't so blind none of this would've happened. He would never have left, and she wouldn't be broken.

As much as he wanted to be selfish and scream at her for what she's been doing he decided against knowing that would get them no where.

"I thought I was in the midst of a one sided love. If i had known, I would have never left you Bonnie." He said ashamed while grabbing her hand. "I can't change what I done to you and what you've been through, but I damn sure promise that I will change the future and make sure you have the best of everything, because you deserve it. You just need to let me in again."

She closed her eyes and shuddered at the feeling of his fingers lightly caress her hands.

"I don't know if I can fully do that just yet" she whispered.

"Well then I guess I won't stop until you do" he replied softly laying a kiss upon her warm hand.