i wouldn't call it poetry

quxxn

the tears have just dried on my face

if you asked me now why i had been crying

i'm not sure if i could answer

a girl who made silly little videos and posted them online

passed away three years ago

i was blissfully unaware

and i stayed ignorant until only a few minutes ago

i could have stayed ignorant forever

had thoughts of her not crept into my mind

thoughts of a simple, untouched piece of my childhood

i couldn't help but try to find her videos

those silly little videos she posted online

those videos with comments that used to live and breathe and make me laugh

comments that are now replaced by a minefield of stale grief

i started crying when i realized that part of me died

over three years ago

three years and four months ago exactly

and i hadn't a clue

i started crying when i realized
that this part of me might have died a long time ago

before her lungs gave out
and she died alone on a cold, hard operating table