Solitude

Chapter Eleven- Not okay

"Do you want something to eat?" Although Carver was trying to make me more comfortable I wasn't in the mood for talking. It had been a long day, I wanted to sit in the movie room and just listen to Riddick fight his way out of trouble.

"No." I said meekly, wondering why he suddenly cared so much. Carver sat us on the couch a few hours ago after my episode and we've been sitting here in mostly silence. He'll talk every now and then, but I think he's uncomfortable with how unusually quiet I am. This huge, hulking, brood of a man was discomforted by a small, timid girl who just didn't want to talk because of previous circumstances. It was laughable from an outsider's point of view, but to me it was saddening. I didn't want him to have to act differently around me, he didn't need to treat me like glass or baby me. This upset me more.

"I'm tired." My voice hardly echoed throughout the living room, it's sharp edges cushioned by the blanket stuffed against my face. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Carver look at me worriedly, a word I never thought I'd use with him.

"You're not okay- are you." I burrowed deeper into the blanket, wishing all my thoughts and feelings would just go away. Squeezing my eyes shut didn't help much, but it made me feel secure and safe in a way. It made me feel like nothing could touch me.

"I'm tired. That's all. Really." I sounded like I was trying to convince myself more than I was Carver.

"No, you're not just tired." He growled, taking me by surprise. "You're hurt and confused and angry and sad and everything in between and you don't know how to feel or if you want to feel anything at all. It's annoying and sucks ass, but you'll get better over time. I promise." I gave him a side glance, not believing this would ever end.

"I do one thing wrong and I get something thrown back at me ten times worse. If those pups had just killed me when they had the chance, I wouldn't-"

"Are you serious?" Carver stood up slowly, his hair covering his eyes and his hands clenched into white knuckled fists. "If they had killed you, I would be alone down here going psycho. If they had killed you, your little crush Dimitri wouldn't have such a beautiful friend like you. If they had killed you, I would've never-" He threw his head to the side, baring his sharpened teeth and taking the gravity away from his hair.

"Carver... you need to calm down." I looked frantically around the room, waiting for the guards to come in and take one of us away again.

The man in front of me glanced up from from beneath his eyelashes, the normal mint color replaced with the glowing amber that terrified everyone. Not me, that was the thing I liked most about him; his ferocity and protective nature that's kept me alive this entire time.

"Don't tell me to calm down Winnie. I have every right to be absolutely furious with you right now." Slowly, he stalked back towards me. He seemed taller, broader, and scarier than before. Whatever he was was powerful and big.

"Carver please, keep your voice down." I was up off the couch now, backing away from him out of confusion and fear. I wasn't afraid of him, but the guards here.

"Stop telling me what to do." I tripped over the stairs leading down the the couch, my blanket wrapped around me like the chains in the water spraying room.

"Carver stop." My heart beat became erratic, my skin slick with sweat as I began to panic again. The room flickered into darkness and everything changed.