Solitude

Chapter Twelve- Lustrous butterscotch hair

"Winnie?" Carver was holding out a towel, one already wrapped around his waist and another draped across his shoulders. I nodded my thanks and took the towel to dry off while we headed back into the messy loft. Blood still covered the closet and a few of the book cases, the entrance had smears all across the frame and little drops here and there, one of the bookcases was toppled over, a lamp broken, and a large part of the banister was missing.

Turning around, I watched Carver's face to see if I did all of this. He gave no indications as he pulled my favorite chair up to the foot of the bed, signaling for me to sit. Nervousness weeping into my bones, I sat down as instructed. The chair reminded me of those weeks I spent alone without Carver in the loft, how many nights had I spent sleeping in this chair? This chair was one of my comfort zones.

"What-" A towel was thrown over the top of my head. My body locked up, ready to fight, but all Carver intended to do was dry my hair. My nails dug into the armrests of the chair, I would've broken them if Carver hadn't taken the towel off of my head as quick as he threw it on.

"Guess I should've warned you." Carver grumbled, rubbing the towel on my head. White hair tumbled into my vision, the tangled tresses tickling my nose. When he was done, he grabbed a brush and attempted to detangle my hair.

He yanked too hard once, sending my hands flying up to grab his in fear. Lyle was none too gentle with my hair, grabbing it every chance he got. Frigid blue eyes flashed through my mind, their icy blue depths freezing me to my spot.

Behind me, Carver stopped brushing, tapping my shoulder twice. But those eyes stayed where they were, taunting me into submission. Lyle's raspy voice was nearing the edge of my mind, about to break through to tell me it was time for my hourly injections. The voice grew so strong that it pushed Carver's voice back until it was nothing.

I turned around slowly, shakily, needing to stay in control this time. Gulping, I continued to hold Carver's hand and just held it tightly. His lips were moving, sans his voice. I shook my head with wide eyes, my body began pulsing with my heartbeat, the action summoning a quiver to my bottom lip. Heavy breathing swept past my lips, cool air coating the back of my throat. Water dropped onto my shoulder from my damp hair, sliding down my chest. The chair beneath me molded to my legs as I moved to sit on my knees, bringing Carver's hand to my face again.

This was real. Carver would protect me. The no touching rule I made up was no longer in mind, to heck with it. I couldn't flash back to my times with Lyle anymore, I had to get in control of this so I couldn't hurt Carver any longer.

A different voice broke through the haze. Familiar and concerned as he squeezed my hand tighter.

"Winnie." Carver's voice was stern as he set the brush down on the bed and cupped my face with his free hand. "Stay with me. Wherever you're at, it isn't real. Come back Winnie." Our held hands caught my attention, bringing my breathing and galloping heart back down normal standards. This was real. This wasn't fake. This will calm you down.

"Sorry, I got...nervous. Please, be gentle with my hair." I choked out, turning back around in the chair. Both of his hands slipped away from me, dropping into his lap. Nothing happened for quite a few moments before he began brushing my hair with incredible care and delicacy. It took longer than it would have it he had just brushed it normally, but he deliberately took his time being gentle and soft.

When Carver was finished brushing my hair, he set the brush back down and combed through my locks with his fingers, occasionally testing the waters by trailing his fingers along the back of my neck. Leaning into his touch, I closed my eyes and imagined drawing the two of us sitting like this. Peaceful images came to mind, calming my warring thoughts. No humans threatening our lives, not being held captive underground, enough sun and bodies of water large enough to swim in, being happy.