Crazy Love

Chapter 9: She Makes Me Sane

Wednesday I walked into the school with a smile plastered to my face. This was unusual for me. I ignored every snicker that came from someones mouth. I reached my locker and pulled out my book for first period. I looked to my right and saw Andy by her locker. She looked over and smiled at me. Soon her smiled disappeared as my body lunged forward toward the opening of my locker. My shoulders slammed agaisnt the outside frame of the locker and my head went in hitting a shelf. I felt my shirt tighten around my chest when someone grabbed the back of it pulling me out of the locker. 

"What did I tell you McDonough?" I heard Trenton say behind me. He wrapped his arm around my neck and pulled me back toward him. His breath was in my ear and I could feel the scratchiness of his 5 o'clock shadow on my cheek. "Huh? What did I tell you?" He repeated. I didn't say anything. 

"Trenton, let him go." I heard Andy say. I could only see her from the corner of my eye. He chuckled at her and tightened his grip on me. "Trenton!" 

"Leave her the hell alone. Got it?" He said tightening his grip once more. I sent my elbow back into his rib cage making him release me. He shot daggers at me and looked like he was ready to lunge at me until Andy rested her hand on my arm. 

"Trenton, just leave him alone, please.." She pleaded and he listened. He stepped back and let me walk away. I walked until I was out of sight and then I started running. I ran until I reached the boys locker room. 

I walked in and the door echoed when it slammed shut. It was dark and I could hear drips of water from a leaky shower head. The only light came from a small window in the back where all the showers were. I headed that way. I walked past where my body once hung lifelessly. I stopped for a moment and stared up at the all too familiar beam. Images flashed in my memory of the rope dangling there. I shut my eyes tight until the image was gone. I continued to the showers. I heard the first bell ring but ignored it. It was a day in the week where the was no gym classes so I knew I wouldn't be bothered. 

I took my shirt off, my jeans, and my shoes leaving me in just my boxers. I walked into the showers and turned the water on. I let the warm water run over my body. I leaned my head up against the shower wall and watched the water drip from my hair to my nose and onto the tiled floor down the drain. 

I wanted her so bad. I needed her. I couldn't have her and that burned through my heart. He would never let me have her. He'd go as far to killing me. I don't understand why he hates me. I never understood. He barely knew me. I lifted my head off the shower wall stood directly under the water again. I felt the presence of someone so I opened my eyes slowly. I squinted through the water drops that hung from my eyeslashes. The light from the window streamed between us. When she stepped forward she looked as though she had been crying. 

"Riley...."

"Don't say anything, Andy." I said stepping out of the water and heading back towards my clothes. I pulled my pants on and fastened my belt. My back was towards her but I could feel her watching me. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked placing her hand and my bare back. 

"Tell you what?" 

"About Trenton. Why didn't you tell me he was doing that to you?" I sighed and turned around to face her.

"Andy, you don't get it. He's always been doing that. He's never stopped. Even when I tried to kill myself he was the one standing there smiling up at me when the rope was wrapped around my neck!" I said pulling my shirt over my head, "He's one of the reasons I tried to commit. He stood there in the crowd of people and said 'just do it already!'." 

"Riley, I didn't know." 

"Even if you did what would it matter?" I asked sitting down on a bench to tie my shoes. "It's not like you'd break up with him. I mean you haven't yet." I said getting up and heading towards the door.

"Riley, wait..."

"No, you don't get it do you? You're in love with the number one person who makes my life a living hell. Do you know how that makes me feel? It kills me inside." I said walking away from the door and back over to her. 

"I just wanted to help you! I didn't know he did or said any of that to you! I never wanted to hurt you, Riley..."

"That's the thing you didn't hurt me. If anything you made me better. Everything goes away when I'm with you."

She looked up at me stunned. I knew that Trenton was probably a different person around her. Just by seeing his eyes soften when she touched his arm in the hallway I knew it was a fact. I knew she loved him and he loved her. I didn't want to ruin that but I still wanted her. I needed her to make sure I was okay. 

"I don't know what you want me to do, Riley." She said her eyes glassing over. 

"I have to get to class." I said and walked out of the locker room. 

I skipped lunch so I didn't have to talk to Andy again. At the end of the day I moved as quickly as I could to get out of the school. When I walked out of the doors I saw Connor sitting in his car waiting for me. I got in, buckled up, and we headed home. 

"I'm a little hungry." I said and Connor nodded.

"Where do you want to go?" He asked.

"You pick." I said and we ended up pulling into a Jimmy Johns. 

We walked in and ordered our sandwiches. I took a bite of mine and then watched Connor take a sip out of his bottle of water. He looked at me and searched my face. 

"What's wrong?" He asked. "I know there's something on your mind." 

"Andy..." I trailed off and took a sip of water. "She saw Trenton shove me into a locker today and then yell at me." I said with a sarcastic smile. 

Connor just looked at me with sorry eyes, "Why do you let him hurt you all the time?" 

"You get used to it after a while. Trust me." I said and Connor just sighed. 

"What did Andy do?"

"She stayed with him." I took another bite of my sandwich and when I swallowed I continued, "I need her Connor. Other than you, she's the only person I can really talk to."

He nodded as if he understood. I crumpled up the wrapper from my sandwich and then slouched back in my chair. I looked straight at Connor and he looked straight back at me. 

"She makes me sane."