little baby

rest in peace jay

hi guys, as most of you probably know, yesterday was emotional to say the least. on wednesday december 7th johanna deakin lost her heartbreaking leukemia battle. yesterday it was publicized and it feels like it's not real, like this is all a dream, but it's not. jay was such a wonderful mother to all of her seven children and my heart aches for all of them and what they're going through. i love jay and everything she has done for her babies, especially louis. she has supported her baby through everything these past six years and i know that she's still supporting him even though she's not here anymore. she's made such a huge impact on this community and it just makes me wanna curl up in a ball and cry for hours because the beautiful human that's so sweet and such a good mother to her babies, is gone.

   all of the boy's condolences have made my heart just melt because even though they're mad at each other, zayn still tweeted his condolences and that just makes me wanna cry, and liam tweeting as well. then niall coming to tonight's X factor performance that louis is dedicating to his mama. then there's harry showing up at the hospital on the sixth with shavers i think cause he knows that louis probably needed them. this all makes my heart hurt cause i know that they all loved jay like she was their mother.

     anne's tweet about her bond with jay made me sob because they were best friends and they truly loved each other. i can't even begin to imagine what dan is going through right now, they haven't been married for long but they loved each other and if you've ever lost someone that you loved then you know this deep loss that forms. she won't be able to be there to " see" ernest and doris grow up but i know that she'll be watching. she won't be there for her baby's 25th birthday. this all just makes my heart hurt.

       i just wanted to share this and to please ask you that if you don't already to just have the deakin/tomlinson family in your thoughts and heart.

rest in peace jay i love you.