The past beats inside me like a second heart.
- John Banville
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2016
Los Angeles
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Do you remember the first time I told you I loved you? I pray that you'll never forget. That was one of the most hardest things I've ever done in my life, I remember I wanted everything to be perfect for when I finally asked you to be mine. I remember being a nervous wreck, I practiced everything I wanted to ask you. I also remember going to my mother and asking for suggestions and the exact reaction reaction I received from her...
••~••
"Hey ma!?" I shouted coming down the stairs.
"In the kitchen Meek!" she responded leading me to her.
"Hey mom? When you and dad got together how did he ask you to be his? " I asked her taking a seat on the stool around the island, not wanting to go straight to the point as yet.
"Well, me and your father were together without being together if you get what am saying" she said stirring whatever she was preparing for dinner.
" what?" I asked confused.
"Me and your father always claimed each other. Well your father started it. We weren't together as yet but he was mine and I was his, we did everything together, so he never really asked me, we just knew. Get it?" she asked turning around with the spoon in her hand then turning back around.
" I guess." I said running my hands down my head.
"what's with the sudden questions though?"
"Well I kinda like Onika and I want to ask her to be my girlfriend." I replied with a slight worried expression as she snapped her head around quickly.
" What?!? Meek you wanna settle!? You finally decided to stop hoeing around?!" she asked while smiling.
"Well, yeah! We been best friends for the longest and I kinda caught feelings for her. I hope she has the same feelings though." I said smiling a little.
"Well Robert you wouldn't know until you ask. You guys are already so close, that at a point in time I thought you guys were secretly dating. " she said laughing.
"whatever, don't let her hear you, she'd be like " a boy and a girl can't be friends now? " blah blah blah" I said laughing.
" Well what ever you choose to do I wish you good luck. But make sure you're serious with this, remember what you did to that boy that broke her heart the first time? Both you and her brother damaged that boy. Onika is my baby meek, I don't want you playing with her emotions." she said going back to cooking.
"I know ma, I wouldn't dare play with her like that. Am serious! But wait, I thought I was your baby!?" I smiled raising an eyebrow.
"You ain't no baby meek! Now go head, and don't break my babies heart or I'll smack the hell outta you!"
~
My mother always loved you. Shit, my whole family loved you. They'll always choose your side with everything. They did the same thing I did with you when it came down to saying who was wrong or right in our petty arguments . You were never wrong, I was always the wrong one. But I never had a problem with that, you were my queen so you were always right.
In a relationship with you I learned that the girl is always right. I tried my absolute best to treat you like the queen you are, I spoiled you rotten even though you never once asked me for anything. You always felt the need to be independent and you never wanted to depend on a man for anything. Do you remember the time we went shopping and I tried to pay for your items...
••~••
"Your total is $768.86, will that be cash or credit?" the cashier asked Nicki as she checked out her items.
"Oh I'll be paying cash." Nicki said going into her purse.
"Nah, credit please." I told the cashier taking my card out as Nicki turned her head to me.
"Umm... I don't think so, Ms. I'll be paying cash." Nicki said eyeing me, handing eight hundred dollar bills to the lady.
" let me see that." I said to lady taking the money from her and handing her my card.
"Meek! I told you I could pay, I don't need you to pay for me." Nicki said clearly upset as the lady handed me my card back telling me to sign off on the purchase.
"And I told you I got it! Once you're with me, I'm going to buy what you want and need! I'm your nigga that's my responsibility!" I responded signing the receipt as she struggled to gather all her bags then exiting the store angry.
~
That's another reason out of the millions I have as to why I love you. I wanted some one that would always keep me on my grind, someone who wasn't afraid to work for what they wanted. A person who was willing to level up with me, and who better to do that with other than you? Your intelligent, you're your own boss, and you loved the idea of grinding hard for what you wanted. Do you remember when you first started to work at Red Lobster?...
••~••
"Why you not answering your phone Onika?" I asked aggravated.
"Meek, you know am working." she said sighing.
"Nicki your shift was over three hours ago."
"Meek didn't I tell you I took extra hours to get my money up?"
"And didn't I tell you, that all those extra hours are unnecessary? I'm working! I provide for us baby!" I told her being serious.
"Meek, I don't want to depend on you, I want to have my own money even though I know you got me. I should be able to buy you things also! With my own money. We both chasers baby, and we chasing that paper together! Didn't you say we were building an empire?
~
I've come to, and grown to love you just the way you are. I'd never want you to change. I'll always value you and You'll always be my independent lady. Remember, we the chasers and we gotta chase the paper together, so do me one favor and....
"Sir may I have a minute?" he said cutting me off.
"Sure! Give me one second."
"I love you, mí armor. Please don't ever forget me." I said pressing a soft gentle kiss to her forehead, rubbing her cheek before leaving.
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Thank you for reading
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TonTon ™ 😘
