The Night

Picnic

Sunday, July 8

Today I should be going on a picnic with Freddie but I didn't feel like it. I felt like having a long drag of a fag.

Sadly, since Brian worked in the pharmacy, he had control over selling cigarettes. And since he knows I'm expecting, he refuses to give me a box of cigs. He simply laughs and says no, which causes me to grow angry.

It sucked being pregnant. I hated it, I don't even want the damn thing inside me. It's just a constant reminder of how much of an idiot I was. I want to erase all remembrance of that night, but one of them is literally growing inside me. And if it weren't for my mother's "values", I would've taken care of this problem.

I examined myself in the wall mirror. I had obviously gained a few pounds, I didn't look as pale and dead as of few weeks ago. I looked normal. I wanted to keep it that way.

I sighed and pulled a hoodie over my head. I knew I couldn't stand Freddie up, so I got dressed and left the house. Night was soon approaching due to the sun hiding near the horizon. I walked to their home, which wasn't far, and saw Freddie packing a basket into the car.

"Deaky! You're finally here, let's go right now." Freddie exasperated as he entered the passenger's seat. He couldn't drive.

I sat in the driver's seat and drove towards the park.

"I can't believe you can't drive." I laughed. I wasn't good at it myself, but I could still get places.

"I'm too busy to learn. Plus I like riding with other people." He commented.

I snickered lightly at his words, my dirty mind instantly kicking in. Freddie nudged my elbow and laughed.

"Get your head out the gutter, you twit."

I laughed out loud and continued driving. I entered the park's designated parking lot and found a spot to park the car. Freddie and I exited the car and carried out what was needed. Freddie held a basket while I held a large blanket.

We walked up a slight hill and decided this was where we are going to stay. We placed the blanket down and sat the basket on top. We sat on opposite sides of the basket.

The sun was beginning to set, and the sky was partially lit. The sky was a beautiful mixture of colors. Purple swirled near the downing sun and orange soon followed. The strange colored sky illuminated our faces. Freddie looked more amazing than ever. He touched up his face and wore complimentary clothes. I didn't feel so confident today.

"This is romantic." Freddie joked. It certainly was. I wanted this to be a date, I really did. But who would want a pregnant man as a date?

But he didn't need to know about that.

"Yeah, it sure is." I muttered.

"What's wrong?" Freddie asked as his face twisted in concern.

"I dunno. I'm just feeling a bit down." I lied. I was extremely worried about everything possible. I could possibly be single forever. Who'd want someone who already has a child? Who would want someone who had a child so early, they'll think I'm some sort of slut! And I wouldn't be able to explain what happened because no one would believe me, no one. They'll think I'm a freak who's able to reproduce, but they would be right, it's true. I am an abomination.

And what if Freddie finds out, how would he react? Not everyone is as accepting of my condition like Brian and Roger. Veronica hated it but she didn't leave me before.

"Tell." Freddie urged on. "It's about a someone? Possibly someone who broke your heart?"

How did he know?