The filler

6]Eating Girls.

Lies. They were like an addiction, or maybe a string. Start on one and never end. One leads to another followed by another and so on.

When you're stuck- when you're desperate, you don't think about the consequences, you don't care. And so you try to break free of this addiction, this string that now binds you. You try to escape.

With a 90% probability of getting caught.

But today, even though my lying skills are on point, I didn't get myself stuck, I wasn't scared of getting caught because I didn't have the need to escape- there was nothing to escape from.

My eyes watered slightly, and I whispered to myself don't be weak. A knot seemed to have appeared at the back of my throat. I swallowed  it back.

Zane continued looking back at me with pursed lips. The situation was most definitely awkward- when I saw a wave of fury go over his forest green eyes. I looked back again at my hands which I flexed while we talked and wished for anything to break the silence that now separated us. It was much better when our conversations were based on lighter matters.

"So...what else did you want to talk about?" I asked.

"I want to know." He replied - his hand reaches for my chin- wanting me to look up at him again. I, in turn grab his wrist and twist it. Hard.

My eyes widen in realisation as I finally look up to see Zane. That moment when your first reflex is to fight back because you have a sibling? That had been triggered apparently.

Zane's eyes narrowed at me playfully the seriousness still there under the show that he put on for me. He rubs his wrist and then cradles it through the thin material of his long sleeved shirt.

"I didn't hit you that hard." I said as a protective yet light tone laced my voice.

"Ryan's right, you women really need to stop inflicting pain on us males." I bit back a laugh that had made its way up the knot in my throat. I debated on starting a full on argument on his statement- and letting my inner feminist show- but soon decided against it.

Another part of me , a frustrated side of me told me that I should probably find out why he wanted to hurt Cora. And to know that I had to give him bait. I had to give him a reason tell me. "What did you want to know?" I asked, quite randomly I suppose . I saw a wave of confusion wash over Zan-e followed by one of realisation.

"Why are you doing this, helping me?" He asked- his eyebrows scrunched up together in an adorable manner. He paused for a few seconds and I urged him to continue," why do you not want to tell me?" I was a good liar and I pride myself in this art, but today I wated the truth.

"Leverage." I answered.

"Huh?" He asked - I found his constant confusion quite amusing.

" if I tell you why, I would be vulnerable- you would know more about me than I would know about you." I said as I moved my hand between us. "And so you would have the upper hand Donovan." I smiled ," I want leverage."I let out a sigh as I finished with mock exasperation.

"You know Akira, I never thought of you as someone so planned and desisive , always thought you were more of a follower-someone without a backbone."

"Thanks." I answered sarcastically - sarcasm and humour were the best tools to hide true emotions- I had mastered the art. Then it came. The feeling, one that I felt the first time I snapped. This was the first time someone confirmed my position - my label the filler- and it hurt.

"If I tell you why, will you tell me why?" I asked - and at the moment I didn't even know whether I was lying or not. In the background the music was loud - yet I could feel and hear everything that Zane and I texchanged.